Thursday, September 13, 2012

Quips, Quotes, and Queries


Quips

If I eat healthy today, I can have one piece of candy as a reward.
If I eat unhealthy, I can have the whole bag.

Honey, do you have anything to say before football season starts?

I think all car alarms should be replaced with a boy's voice
crying, "Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!" over and over.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

I see nothing but growth and expansion for the foreseeable future,
but enough about my diet.

The inventor of the doorbell did not own a chihuahua.

I finally got my head together. Now my body is falling apart.

Sometimes autocorrect is your worst enema.

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.

Don't bother me. I'm busy converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

Quotes 

Happiness is a form of courage.
Holbrook Jackson

The two most important days in your life are 
the day you were born and the day you find out why.
Mark Twain

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abe Lincoln

We may not be able to control the wind, 
but we can always adjust our sails.

If you don't like something, change the way you think about it.
Mary Engelbreit

Ring the bells that still can ring; forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in.
Leonard Cohen

We fit together like a hook and eye...a fish hook...an open eye.
Margaret Atwood

Queries

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

Some look at things that are and ask why?
I look at things that never were and ask why not?
George Bernard Shaw

It's true hard work never killed anybody, 
but I figure, why take the chance?
Ronald Reagan

Why am I soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?
Paul Simon

Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?
James Allen

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, 
then why did he make them out of meat?
John Cleese

Where did we come from? Why are we here? 
Where are we going?

If you never change your mind, why have one?
Edward de Bono

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck 
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

;)

for more Q posts, click below

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love this! and you have some awesome quips, queries and quotes. you brought a smile to me today! Thanks.

larainydays said...

Brilliant, I'm stealing them all.

yaya said...

I think I've experienced every quip, quote and query...I think I might even be able to answer the woodchuck one! Love them!

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Hah!love it!

Judie said...

Hahahaha! Wonderful "Q" post, Sue! You have made me smile!!

Amy said...

So fun. You made me grin today from reading those. It is always a treat to visit your blog as you always have something worth reading.

Leovi said...

Very good quote, a very funny post, my favorite is the Mary Engelbreit, I love that way of thinking.

Brian Miller said...

hahaha...anything to say before football season...smiles...there are def some fun ones in here....

Grandma Honey said...

These were so fun to read. I laughed about the football season one. Then I had to go read it to my husband!

Gail said...

I should take Abe's advice.

anitamombanita said...

thanks for the smiles!! :)

storybeader said...

I like the quips best! {:-D

Cheryl said...

Some of my all-time favorite quotes. The rest are about nature. :P

BECKY said...

Hi Sue! I love every one of these, and I think I've posted every one of them on my blog at one time or another! You know me and my love of quotes! :D

momto8 said...

...all with some sort of truth!!

Gattina said...

They are all very good, but I like the : "The inventor of the doorbell did not own a chihuahua" best ! lol !

alpinekleins said...

Hehhehe - gets me laughing today, I guess I've just read one too many serious (but thought provoking) blog post this week, love the humor and inspiration :)

Big smile from me,

Kristin

karen said...

I love quotes, and I can see that some of your favorites are also mine.

Unknown said...

Those quips are awesome!

Joy For Your Journey said...

I needed a good laugh!! Thanks for those.

Tonya said...

These were GREAT!!!

~✽Mumsy✽~ said...

Fantastic Q post! I love your quips, queries and quotes..It is just perfect for me today :-)

EG CameraGirl said...

This cheered me up...in fact a few quips made me laugh. :))

Jenny said...

I love that 'happiness' quote Sue.

I am going to paint one of those for myself.

Perfect words!

Thanks for quite a fun link for the letter "Q".

A+