Quips, Quotes, and Queries

Quips

If I eat healthy today, I can have one piece of candy as a reward.
If I eat unhealthy, I can have the whole bag.

Honey, do you have anything to say before football season starts?

I think all car alarms should be replaced with a boy's voice

crying, "Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!" over and over.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

I see nothing but growth and expansion for the foreseeable future,
but enough about my diet.

The inventor of the doorbell did not own a chihuahua.

I finally got my head together. Now my body is falling apart.

Sometimes autocorrect is your worst enema.

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.

Don't bother me. I'm busy converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

Quotes 

Happiness is a form of courage.

Holbrook Jackson

The two most important days in your life are 

the day you were born and the day you find out why.

Mark Twain

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Abe Lincoln

We may not be able to control the wind, 

but we can always adjust our sails.

If you don't like something, change the way you think about it.

Mary Engelbreit

Ring the bells that still can ring; forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in.

Leonard Cohen

We fit together like a hook and eye...a fish hook...an open eye.

Margaret Atwood

Queries

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

Some look at things that are and ask why?

I look at things that never were and ask why not?

George Bernard Shaw

It's true hard work never killed anybody, 

but I figure, why take the chance?

Ronald Reagan

Why am I soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?

Paul Simon

Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?

James Allen

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, 

then why did he make them out of meat?

John Cleese

Where did we come from? Why are we here? 

Where are we going?

If you never change your mind, why have one?

Edward de Bono

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck 

if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

;)

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