Saturday, March 5, 2011

Sweet Sins


Could there be a better way to start the weekend than this? Saturday Centus is nothin' but fun, and adding my hundred words to Jenny's prompt is my idea of a good time. (You can recognize said prompt by its lovely red hue.)

∞§∞

Sweet Sins

The energy of this place was electric, a slow, sneaky jolt that pulsed through his nervous system like warm honey, sweet and just a little bit sticky. The sensations stuck, too: warm lights in a darkened room; the smell of good tobacco; the snap of clean, crisp decks mid-shuffle. The very air welcomed him.

Blackjack was his game, always had been. He liked the one-on-one of it, even in a crowd; he played against the deck, not the dealer. Red and black on bright-white, like a ledger. Money colors.

Everything depended upon this single card.

It was a lie. But he was a believer.

∞§∞

30 comments:

Deborah said...

Really well written, you created the scene brilliantly, well done!

Nonna Beach said...

An excellent take on the prompt...tactile and vivid picture of how a compulsive gambler thinks and feels !!!

Dixie Mom said...

A serious addict!! I think I can see why this guy is so addicted. I can almost smell it in there. :)

Judie said...

Great writing! I could actually see the room!

Grandma Honey said...

I love:
"It was a lie, but he was a believer."
Reminded me of many temptations of life, and how we can get sucked in.

Bookie said...

Very vivid mental pictures come while reading this...nice job.

Brian Miller said...

love the atmosphere you create...like honey, great play there...ha, always waiting on the right cards...

Karen Mortensen said...

gave me goose bumps. I could really picture it in my mind.

Amy said...

You are amazing Sue! I loved it.

P.S. How did Dave like your surprise early return?

karen said...

I could almost see the scene through the smoky air. Great job!

Jess said...

I've seen that guy a million times when I lived in Vegas- you painted it just right.

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

Sue how amazing you are honey to be able to write something so clear as this. Had me sitting there with him. lol
Hope you had a wonderful Saturday I know we all enjoyed your Saturday post
Love ya
Maggie

yaya said...

Very smooth Sue! That's how it felt to read it..like gliding through the room with the gambler and feeling the thrill..I admire your talent!

Jo said...

you always paint such a vivid picture ... really well done Sue!

~Lissa said...

Amazing imagery in this! Great job!

jabblog said...

Great scene setting! The addicted gambler is always self-deceiving.

Kat said...

Excellent! I could picture this in my mind. And you built the sense of anticipation beautifully. Really well done! Kat

Cheryl said...

Hate blackjack; love this story.

5thsister said...

last line is my favorite..."but he is a believer". Isn't it always the case? Why do we believe the lies of our vices? Excellent centus sweet Sue!

Ames said...

I have never been at a black jack table so the image I saw in mind was pretty somewhat like a Clark Gable movie scene. Very good Sue!~Ames

Jaquandor said...

Description of setting and character all in one. Very impressively done!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You have such a wonderful way with words. I re-read the first sentence three times because of it. Great title, too.
xoRobyn

Donna said...

I feel the warmth and sultry feeling in the room, I can smell the smoke, and have on a beautiful gown. I sure hope he wins that money,...hmmm, what's the lie??

(always leave me wanting more,...-brilliant, as usual!!)

Poetic Justice said...

Great set up, I was at the table with this guy, feeling nervous excitement! Very well written.

Darlene said...

Since they made gambling legal in California, there have many many addicts created. So sad.

This was a great take on the Sentus.

Kristin Klein said...

amazing . . . you just always amaze me!

Kristin

Karen S. said...

Oh this has great style and vision in such few words too...a great show me the single card take!

Jenny said...

This post follows your "I'm sneaking home a day early post" and the title just made me laugh so hard that I need to go put an ice pack on my face. You're a joy!

Tina said...

oh i can feel the intensity in the air myself just reading it!

cj Schlottman said...

Sue, This is so vividly visual. Once again, you have put together a very real CS with an underlying moral.

Namaste..........cj

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