Monday, January 24, 2011

Resolution Comes at Odd Times


My husband and I did something out of the ordinary on Saturday...something we had disagreed about in the past. Happily, we have reached a resolution, and my wish is being granted. We will (later than sooner, I hope) be buried in the lovely, peaceful little cemetery near our home.

Yes, we have purchased a funeral plot, and it's been a long time coming. We first started thinking about doing this several years ago, when we completed our estate planning, but there was just one catch: His family plot (a rather large one) is located in Salt Lake City, and I have no yearning to be included there. Instead, I have felt a strong preference for spending my pre-resurrection years somewhere in California, where my life and children are. Understandably, he felt pulled toward both places, so we just tabled the discussion for a time.

For some reason, attending the funeral of our friend's son made both of us realize that we would feel most at home resting right here...in this little village where we have lived for the past 21 years.

And that's just what we'll do, when the time comes. It's a good spot. In fact, our little piece of peace can be found midway between an oak tree and a redwood tree.

Some people may think it's an odd thing we've done, but Dave and I are planners. Besides, it will be easier on our kids to make one less decision after we're gone.

Best of all, we will be among old friends. And hopefully, no more young ones.

26 comments:

Wendy said...

Good for you for planning ahead instead of leaving the decisions to your children or your spouse. The decisions are hard while living. But when the plans are made and children and family know then there aren't hard feelings. I have noticed that it is easier for the children to be "obedient" to their parents when the plans have been arranged and not leave it up to happen-chance.

Lisa Loo said...

I don't think it's odd. Like you said--it will be one less thing for your kids to worry about and you two can literally "rest in peace"! Studmuffin and I need to think on that too....

Terra said...

I think it is a great thing you have done. as hard as it may be, it is a good thing to do

Dixie Mom said...

I don't think it's odd at all to plan ahead. This way your wishes are fulfilled and the burden of those choices is not placed on someone else.
Some think that thinking or talking about our death or where we want to be buried is morbid. As much as I want to keep living longer, I like being prepared too.
And it makes sense that you would want to be buried in your beloved Cali...where your heart is.

Brian Miller said...

it is goof that you took care of this...my MIL had not thought about it and we had to deal with all of it when she passed and make decisions quickly without the benefit of time...

Mumsy said...

I do not think it is an odd thing at all that you have done. My hubby and I bought our plots 40 years ago. At the time we bought them we did not know that we would eventually live less than two miles where we will be laid to rest when our time comes. We never know when our time will come and we did not want to leave it to our children or one of us to take care of everything.

Lovely cemetery you have chosen. Hugs

Nancy said...

Good for you Sue. We have the same decision.....Idaho? or Texas? Kids are here so we will probably choose to stay here. It is a decision everyone should do sooner, rather than later.

Amy said...

Yay for being able to agree! And how wonderful to have it all taken care of. Yet how sad that the agreement had to be due to a friend's funeral.

Darlene said...

I think you made the right decision, Sue. We did the same thing here. We have been in this home longer than any we have lived in for since we have been married. We have been here 20 years. Can you believe it? My family has a large plot too, but who wants to be burried in Lund, Idaho. The cemetery there is beautiful and Dick said he wouldn't mind, but to us, this is home and we have one plot as we decided to be buried Army fashion and we also thought it would be nice to be so close. Actually, it wasn't much cheaper, but it just seemed cosier, somehow. It is good to know that none of you children will have to make that choice for us. Now if I can just decide what to do with all of my personal stuff. I am so glad I am giving it to you guys at Christmas time. It is easier on the budget too, but it is getting harder to decide, so when you guys visit, I want you to tell me if you have a preference for anything special. It's amazing what you can store up after so many years. I still have some of the things my mom gave me, and a very few of the things that belonged to her mom. It is always good to have those things decided on before one dies. Good for you guys!!!

Jocelyn Christensen said...

That's great! Isn't it odd to think about dying when you've got so much living yet to do. But a reminder that mortal life is brief and temporary...

Roger and LeAnn said...

Sue, I think it is wise to be prepared and it will leave one less thing for your children to do.
Roger and I bought 4 plots in a new cemetary in Bountiful many years ago. The funny thing is it is double layered meaning that there are two plots on top of the other two. I have requested that I be buried in the one on top; because I am very claustphobic and also I want to be able to get out quicker. I do believe however that the 2nd coming may come and we won't have to be buried at all; at least that is my prayer.
Blessings to you! LeAnn

yaya said...

Sue, this fit in with my RS lesson last week.. Being prepared! We have a plot also, but it was purchased years ago by Jack's parents. His Mom wanted us to see it and decide if that was a good spot. His brother had died and was buried in another spot so they decided to purchase a family plot and move him. We went to see it...I laid down on the spot, folded my hands and asked if I looked good there. Our youngest son was with us and I thought Jordan was going to faint...he told me to get up and stop goofing around. I said, "hey, you're going to come and visit, I just wanted to see how it would look"...He wasn't too thrilled, but I just laughed and told him to lighten up. A sense of humor doesn't hurt in some situations!

Stacy Crawford said...

We have being talking a lot about this in RS. I think we are going to pick a quiet peaceful cemetary too. I love the pre-resurrection idea.

leigh said...

Wow...I don't have the gumption to do this. Your plot sounds lovely though.
It must be nice to have that resolved.

Karen Mortensen said...

I think that is a good idea. Looks like a really nice place to me. Hope you don't have to "move in" soon.

Katie said...

I'm such a planner too. It looks beautiful. Yes, I'm hoping for later rather than sooner ;-)

Donna said...

Glad you chose and made things easier for your children! I would like to do that too...but we have the same disagreement. My husband would like to be buried here in a not too pretty spot in our town again, where we have lived since marriage almost 40 years ago. I would like to be buried by my parents in Wisconsin in a cemetary that rests across from a little white steepled church on a hill. I love that spot!
I guess I should choose to be here to keep the peace..it will be THAT, huh?

karen said...

I'm ashamed to say we haven't even talked about it, and we should. Good for you two! Perhaps that will be something we spend one of our next Saturdays discussing. I really have no idea where LaMar would like to be any more than I've thought about where I want to be. I need to be a better planner. Thanks for the kick in the pants!

Stef said...

I think that is smart. Better to be prepared than stuck in a rut some time down the road. Personally, I want to be buried in a simple box, and where ever Hubs and I make our permanant home. Easy as that.

Grandma Honey said...

A few years ago I couldn't even talk about such things. Amazing how our minds change as we grow older. Now my husband and I even talk about what songs we want at our funeral, and who we want to speak.

Good for you Sue!

Just ME the MOM said...

We have had many of the same thoughts and really should take some action as well. Just one of those things you postpone and prefer not to think about. But it would be a relief to have the decision made. Way to go!

Kristin

Ⓙ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

It's smart because you get to choose the place yourselves...and it's responsible because you don't leave decisions like this to your kids when they're grieving.

I hope this post inspires others to do the same!

Dina @ 4 Lettre Words said...

I think it's so sweet, Sue...and it is such a lovely place!

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

My parents just did the same thing (bought a burial plot). They had a similar discussion because my mother's family has a large plot in another town (about 3 hours away from where they retired). They ended up purchasing a plot in the town where they live and are happy about it.
I don't think it's odd at all to plan ahead. There is an excellent grief counselor at my church and I have heard her say that when things are planned out it's less stressful on the family.
The site you've chosen looks beautiful and peaceful.

Jess said...

One item checked off of the hard list- your children will thank you, post- resurrection.

Em said...

my mom wants to be cremated. my dad and stepmom have plots overlooking the ocean on skyline, where you come over hwy 92 and into half moon bay.

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