Friday, November 12, 2010

The Nightmare before Christmas...

Remember how proud you all were of me last week (and the week before that) for doing my Christmas shopping early? I guess I was pretty proud of myself, too. Maybe I was even the most restrained and gracious way, of course.

Remarks such as "Go, Sue" and "You rock!" were made, and I even sensed a certain amount of that "nice" kind of envy that isn't really a bad thing at all because you're not wishing you had whatever it is the other person has. (Heaven forbid!) You're only wishing that you had your own version of the same thing. See what I mean? More "wishful thinking" than "covetousness." And completely understandable, under the circumstances.

However, I want you to know (in the interest of full disclosure) that circumstances have changed. Drastically. At this point, even a small degree of envy for my completely Christmas-shopped situation is not appropriate at all. Why? Because I am miserable! Completely and in every way miserable. And, yes, I am going to bore you with the reasons. Every Single One of Them.

(There are a dozen, by the way.)

1. It's only November 12th, and I'm done Christmas shopping.
2. This does not compute.
3. So I keep Christmas shopping.
4. This does not compute.
5. Because now I am exceeding my budget.
6. This does not compute.
7. Because my husband is a CPA.
8. And he DOES compute. Everything.
9. Which means he will know how much I have spent.
10. And the merry Christmas I'm counting on may be a little less merry than it might otherwise be, had I exercised a little more restraint.
11. Meaning I am going back to the drawing board today to rethink a couple of my early purchases.
12. Let the returns begin!


And this was supposed to save me time and hassle?? Oh, the bitter irony of it all. I mean, which would you rather do, buy Christmas presents or return them?

(Besides, now the gifts are burning a hole in my pocket. I still have to wait 43 days to bestow them!!!)

How does Santa do it?


Okay, let's just state the obvious. I can take it if you can. My grand, get-done-shopping-before-Thanksgiving scheme has succeeded only in stretching out the entire gift-gathering process. In other words, I have created The Nightmare before Christmas. Recreated, that is. (Do you think that violates some kind of copyright law?) Hopefully not; I did use different media than Tim.

Cut me a break, Mr. Burton. I'm already in over my head here...

And it's only 42 shopping days till Christmas!


PS. Included here is my usual humor alert/disclaimer: I am mostly kidding with this one, but I AM making a few returns because I've either found a better deal or preferred something else that I found after the fact. And that IS a cautionary tale...


Grandma Honey said...

We can't win can we? But still I would rather be in your place than mine. I have not bought one single thing yet. I don't think I have ever started this late.

Jocelyn Christensen said...

I made a similar mistake this year when I hit the 75% off toy sale at Target in July. Wouldn't you son is into something totally different come November! But all is not lost, there are plenty of Birthday parties that we need little boy presents for! Such is life! Good luck with the returning!

Dixie Mom said...

I can actually see your point. Although, it must feel good to have most of it done, the hunt is over!
Are you going to give them at Thanksgiving so that you don't have to ship them?

Sue said...

I won't be giving the gifts out at Thanksgiving, because all of my kids are going to be home again for Christmas.



jen said...

I'm trying. I'm really trying to get done. I'm getting there. I'm not there yet. Hopefully two more weeks. Done by Black Friday. That's my goal.
Karen and I can't miss Black Friday. The universe may come to a screeching halt if we missed two years in a row (Eve was a month old last year).

NBlake said...


I volunteer my kids for your shopping gift giving needs. (haha) I haven't even started yet but it appears I am mainly done thanks to NYU tuition. All of the children are receiving some of Jordan's tuition for Christmas this year. I am sure they will be pleased beyond measure. :)

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

Well Sue honey one thing for sure I will never know what your feeling. lol
Never will I ever be finished this early. Right now I do have a few things by accident but we have so many November and December birthdays it is hard to finish them on time. haha
Sorry you created a nightmare...

Momza said...

I love Christmas shopping!
I haven't even started yet.
Well, that's not true. I have two gifts...that leaves about 30 others to buy.
I'm in no hurry though. It'll come along soon enough.
At least you can take things back now and get a full refund!
Happy Returning!

BECKY said...

Oh, Sue! I so understand! I've never done A LOT of Christmas shopping early, but I HAVE done some...and usually see things after the fact, that I wish I had bought for someone!...I like being in the malls during the Holidays, just to see and watch people...whether I'm buying things or not! As always, I love your posts!

Crawford Family said...

I've had the same dilemma my self. But, I hate the hustle and bustle as well. What's a gal to do?

Lisa Loo said...

It sounds a little like Groundhog Day to me--

{but then I just had outpatient surgery and these meds are souper de douper!}

Jackie said...

But you will be everyone's favorite!

Myrna Foster said...

Hee hee. I have most of my Christmas shopping done too, but I kind of like the manic right before Christmas shopping.

Jess said...

I love that, not only do you know what you're giving for Christmas, but that the shopping is done. Insert wishful thinking/non covetousness here. That's my kind of nightmare!

My name is PJ. said...

You've fallen victim to organization!!! Let me suggest that when you complete your shopping early (which I've always done), you do it so you can stay out of stores, malls, etc and do fun things like spend time with loved ones, run holiday errands for others, decorate, bake, spend time at church, fillintheblank.

Gosh, I dislike the commercial aspect of the holiday. It's too easy for us to succumb!

How sad that you have to tell people there was humor in your post. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Katie said...

Oh Sue, a girl after my own heart! You sound just like me! I have the hardest time waiting all the way till Christmas to give Mia gifts. I've made a few things that I intended on giving her for Christmas but have already given them to her. I get her gifts early, but then find more later. I am proud of you however for having ALL your Christmas shopping done! I've only bought for Mia so far...

Kristin said...

Sue, This cracked me up! When ever I get done shopping early and way before Christmas...I keep shopping and shopping and shopping.
Otherwise, I don't feel like I'm doing enough!

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