Just Jumpin' for Jeremiah B-Day Joy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEREMIAH...

We think you're terrific...

In lots and lots and lots of ways...

(Twenty, to be specific).

SO HANG ON TIGHT, 'CAUSE HERE WE GO!

(And you're the greatest guy we know.)

∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞§∞

You're so much fun

And really smart

You have a very tender heart

You love to write

You love to read

And as an actor, you're the lead

The ocean's quite

A friend to you

(Too bad the jellyfish are, too)

You run and jump

You even score!

You always make a splash...

Or more

Your little sister

And your bro

Think you're the coolest guy they know

To be your friend

Is lucky, too

You are a friend that's tried and true

Your crazy smile

And funny ways

Bring so much sunshine to our days

You like to learn

And love to teach

The whole, wide world

Is in your reach

You think a lot

You know what's true

You try to do what's right to do

You're way too interesting

To solve

Can't wait to see how you evolve

One thing's for sure

Your future's bright

So go on...take a great BIG bite

Of life and love

And pizza, too

No one deserves it

More than you!

with so much love

from

Grandma and Grandpa

P.S. Congratulations on getting baptized, Jeremiah. You make your grandma and grandpa very proud.

PPS. We'll be bringing your present with us on Wednesday!

A Bit of Good Old Americana Hits the Spot

Take a minute and give these young girls a listen, all the way through. (Their harmonies just keep getting better and better.) This one definitely got my patriotic juices flowing!

Don't forget to click off my bright red playlist to the right.

I don't know about you, but this makes me feel not only more hopeful about our country and its future, but more hopeful about the rising generation in general. And the fact that the crowd is so silent and respectful just adds to my good feeling.

America is a good thing. (And most Americans ain't bad, either!)

=)

Miss Molly and "A Good Grief" = Wonderful

A favorite blog of mine to visit is The Jackson Family. Miss Molly rules the roost over there, and she does a pretty wonderful job of telling her family's story while teaching all of us how to face tragedy with faith and courage. Every day she mourns the loss of her daughter, Lucy, and every day she finds a way to celebrate Lucy's life and remind her readers that Joy is always possible. Grace is always possible, too...and this young mother of two has plenty of it.

Now Molly has found another way to bless the lives of those who are fortunate enough to know her. Let me share with you some of her own words about A Good Grief (the brand new blog she has created), which is dedicated not only to those who grieve but to those who love and support them:

"Welcome to A Good Grief. I'm glad you found us. This site is designed to help us connect and share with one another-- to learn that we are not alone.

"I am excited about this website, excited about its potential to help.

"No mortal can take on the pain of another, but we can mourn together and in doing so strengthen each other to bear the burdens common to mortality. I hope that this site will be a way for you to connect with others, to find people that you can help and that can help you as well.

"Each week, we will be posting articles from various authors, those who have experienced grief in one form or another, as well as professionals. I hope these posts will spark questions and comments that will help you deal with your grief or better understand the grief of a loved one."

Pretty cool idea, huh? Thanks, Molly. I always admire people who realize they have a work to do and then just get out there and do it. You are one great woman!

=)

PS. And she's a really great blogger, too, so check out both of her blogs. You won't be sorry.

When Life Is Fragile, Throw an Anchor

"Faith is an anchor in a raging sea, calm in the midst of chaos, vision to know right from wrong, and the courage to express it." I wish I knew the author of these words so I could give credit where credit is due, but whoever did say them said a mouthful.

This morning I read a profoundly disturbing article about a suicide cluster in a city near my home. Apparently, four teens have taken their own lives in the past six months by stepping in front of a commuter train; a fifth was narrowly saved. Parents at the school are understandably terrified by this recent trend, and there is much conjecture about the possible causes.

"Adolescence is a period of great transition," says Dr. Madelyn Gould, a professor of psychiatry at Columbia University who has written extensively on suicide clusters. "Peers become more important than parents. Imitating behavior is a big part of adolescence."

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among U.S. teenagers. Global suicide rates have jumped by 60 percent over the last 45 years. Correspondingly, so have the numbers of suicide clusters, Gould says.

"We don't know why we're seeing suicide rates so far beyond those of the '50s and '60s," says Gould. "There are theories, but we're not sure."

I'm not sure why we're seeing suicide rates so far beyond those of the '50s and 60s either, but I do have a few ideas.

In 1988, over 20 years ago, President Ezra Taft Benson said this: “If we continue with present trends, we can expect to have more emotionally disturbed young people, more divorce, more depression, and more suicide."

Four years later, in 1992, President Gordon B. Hinckley gave a conference talk wherein he quoted a speech by then Senator Dan Coats of Indiana about a study made by “a commission of educational, political, medical and business leaders” in relation to the problems of youth in the United States. A report called Code Blue, issued by the committee, concluded as follows: “Never before has one generation of American teenagers been less healthy, less cared for, or less prepared for life than their parents were at the same age.”

The Senator's own comment on the report was this: “I have seen the parade of pathologies—they are unending and increasing. Suicide is now the second leading cause of death among adolescents, increasing 300 percent since 1950. Teen pregnancy has risen 621 percent since 1940. More than a million teenage girls get pregnant each year. Eighty-five percent of teenage boys who impregnate teenage girls eventually abandon them. The teen homicide rate has increased 232 percent since 1950. Homicide is now the leading cause of death among fifteen- to nineteen-year-old minority youth. …Every year substance abuse claims younger victims with harder drugs. A third of high school seniors get drunk once a week. The average age for first-time drug use is now thirteen years old.” (And remember, these statistics are from 1992. Today, as we approach 2010, I suspect that several percentages may have worsened substantially.)

The Code Blue report reached a telling conclusion. It stated: “The challenges to the health and well-being of America’s youth are not primarily rooted in illness or economics. Unlike the past, the problem is not childhood disease or unsanitary slums. The most basic cause of suffering … is profoundly self-destructive behavior. Drinking. Drugs. Violence. Promiscuity. A crisis of behavior and belief. A crisis of character.” (Imprimis, Sept. 1991, p. 1.)

President Hinckley went on to draw these conclusions about the Code Blue report cited in his talk: "...No one can blink at the fact that in this land, and in other lands across the world, there is an epidemic affecting the lives of millions of youth. It is a sickness that comes of a loss of values, of an abandonment of moral absolutes. The virus which has infected them comes of leaderless families, leaderless schools, leaderless communities. It comes of an attitude that says, 'We will not teach moral values. We will leave the determination of such to the individual.' Parents, in all too many cases, have abdicated their responsibility to 'train up a child in the way he should go' so that 'when he is old, he will not depart from it' (Prov. 22:6). Educators in all too many cases have adopted an attitude of moral neutrality. Many public officers have abandoned any reverent use of the name of God in public meetings, thereby closing the door to Deity when it is plainly evident there is a need for wisdom beyond their own. If we deny the one sure source of moral truth, then from whence will it come?"

Gordon B. Hinckley asked a good question back in 1992, and it's still a good question today.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not suggesting that all suicide is a result of the lack of moral compass in today's society. I know that clinical depression exists and that it is a killer that takes no prisoners. I also know that religious and spiritual people are not exempt from suicide or its effects. Sadly, no one is exempt, regardless of upbringing, religious affiliation, or spiritual inclination. Sometimes, in the moment, a person is just too ill to be influenced by anything but that illness.

Having said that, I am convinced that not only does belief in something greater than oneself give a suicidal person more impetus to fight that impulse when it comes, but that spirituality and religion––the existence in each soul of a core belief that there is a divine plan and meaning for his or her life––makes a person generally more resilient in the face of depression and specifically more resilient in combatting the urge to commit an act (suicide) that actively violates his or her belief system.

One last point. I think that a number of teens today have been short-changed. They have been over-indulged, over-scheduled, over-protected from natural consequences, over-complimented for false "accomplishments," (yet overlooked for meaningful ones), and they are overwhelmed by the emptiness of it all. This is particularly true in families where parents are so busy focusing on making money and promoting careers that parenting takes a back seat and love is expressed in superficial, sometimes guilt-based offerings that fail to satisfy. However, this short-changing of children can happen in any home where a mother or father has faulty information about how to nurture a child's good feeling about himself. Over-indulgence, for example, creates children with unrealistic expectations of life and relationships. They think that the world owes them a living (it doesn't) and that others will pet and pamper them as their parents have (they won't). Their subsequent disappointment (coupled with lack of understanding of their predicament and its roots) predisposes them to depression. Over-complimenting children for shallow achievements compromises motivation and deprives that child of the lasting, reality-based positive self-regard that is intrinsically derived from striving hard to act upon the world in ways that matter and reaping meaningful success, the kind that builds character. While self-esteem that is founded upon real growth brings joy; unsupported, pseudo-self-esteem puts a child at risk for depression. Over-scheduling exposes a child to unnecessary stress and sets in motion a pattern of too much adrenaline-driven behavior and not enough calm, centering stillness. This "running faster than you have strength" syndrome provides another predisposition to depression. Over-protecting children from natural consequences blocks them from learning how to confront, change, and take responsibility for their own behavior. Effective coping skills are not learned by those whose parents shield them from every unpleasant result. Identity development suffers as unhealthy dependence is fostered, another marker for depression.

Finally and perhaps most important of all, children need to feel safe in the world, and what makes them feel safe is having parents who set and enforce limits. Being an effective parent must include setting limits that can make you unpopular, and fear of being unpopular with one's children is considerably less of a deterrent to good parenting when the parent-child relationship has deep wells, filled with the kind of ready reserves that can only be accumulated by shared experience, by countless hours spent together, and by frequent and sustained interactions...all of which create bonds that don't fail and trust that doesn't falter. Setting limits also requires having your own moral center upon which to base them. I once attended a group session where parents of youth with addictions were told the importance of placing firm limits upon their children and either applying consequences for overstepping those limits or allowing natural consequences to take effect. It was also suggested that the young people be taught basic standards of morality to give them some guidance in their lives. All of the couples seemed to think this counsel made great sense, but I was shocked when one of the parents raised her hand and asked, "What are some standards you could suggest?" Suddenly everyone in the group was all ears. They literally did not have ingrained standards of their own at the ready to offer their children.

Case in point. The 1992 Code Blue report was right. We were and are experiencing "a crisis of behavior and belief." Doing something about that won't stop mental illness, and it won't stop suicide either. But it might save a few. Maybe more than a few.

And wouldn't even one life saved would be worth it?

"Whoever saves one life saves the world entire" (Oscar Schindler).

Thanks Be to God

photo courtesy of O Charm of Nothingness, So Madly Decked

Thanks Be to God

©2009 Susan Noyes Anderson

Though troubles come and troubles go

amidst this life of joy and tears,

while things we love and things we know

are sometimes lost to grief or fears;

yet always in the heart remains

the memory of sacred strains,

of truth eternal, joy divine,

and gifts bestowed by God's design.

In hope, we take the leap of birth.

In thanks, we dwell upon the earth.

In death, all things must pass away,

but all will be restored one day;

when mortal pain and sorrow cease,

when every soul is moved to sing,

then all shall bow and all embrace

the grace of Savior, Lord, and King.

FAMILY MATTERS: Stunning Stats about Young People in America

Surprising and disturbing news was circulating yesterday about the health and well-being of young people in America.

U. S. Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, backed by some of our country's top military brass, held a news conference at the National Press Club last Thursday indicating that young adults in America are so unfit (physically or otherwise) that only 25 percent of them would be eligible today for the armed services of our country. In other words, a full 75 percent of Americans between the ages of 17 and 24 could not qualify for the military due to excessive weight, inability to pass entrance exams, lack of a high school degree, or existence of a criminal record.

Early childhood education was put forth as the best solution, with 44 percent higher rates of graduation and fewer arrests for violent crimes cited in those children enrolled in quality programs. I don't challenge these numbers, nor am I against early childhood education for children who require that assistance, but the roots of our problem need to be addressed as well.

This entire situation looks to me like a clear-cut case of the disintegration of the American family rearing its ugly head, again. And again. And again. Maybe our government needs to spend less time trying to find new and improved band aids to slap on the various symptoms of societal breakdown and start supporting the health and well-being of the basic unit that has traditionally reinforced and sustained the very structure of our nation. Yes, folks––that would be the family––in all its original, too-rapidly-fading glory. Not one of the problems highlighted by Duncan and crew can be resolved without active, involved parents who demand more from their schools, expect more from their children, and are willing to back both of these up with their own, concerted efforts.

Let's face it, some of the things that are going on here defy explanation. With so many of our kids overweight, for intance, why on earth are we dropping physical education programs in our schools? And isn't it a known fact that involvement in the Arts tames the savage beast, so to speak? Yet art programs are being thrown out the door like yesterday's garbage, and music education is pretty much a thing of the past. A growing majority of after-school enrichment programs have gone by the wayside as well. No wonder so many kids are involved in "Lord of the Flies" mentality and behavior. Left to their own devices, they tend to run off the tracks. That's why they have parents. Or at least, they used to have them.

Too many parents today are either absent, disempowered, disengaged, or ineffective. Expecting a government that can't even run its postal service to raise our children is nonsensical. Yet parents are abdicating responsibility hand over fist, persuading themselves that they can raise healthy, well-adjusted children while directing the bulk of their energies elsewhere.

Ain't gonna happen. And General John Shalikashvili, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, sees that as "a matter of national security." I would concur, but with the caveat that the threat to our country is not only military. It's fundamental. And spiritual.

And our future depends on whether and how we address that.

So You Think You Can Dance-ing with the Stars

So You Think You Can Dance

Dancing with the Stars

Hello, fellow reality dance show enthusiasts. As the title of this post suggests, I am opting for two, two, two posts in one. (Vaguely reminiscent of the Doublemint twins, right?) Good, because that's what I was going for...

Anyway, I'll begin with So You Think You Can Dance (thereby giving props to the best program overall). Bianca and Phillip are officially gone with the wind, and frankly, my dears, I don't give a d---! And neither would Clark Gable. Or Rhett, either. Stand out performances were Karen and Kevin (car hip hop), Legacy and Kathryn (fear-themed contemporary dance), Mollee and Nathan (Bollywood), and Ryan and Ellenore (Argentine tango). Reasonably good were Ashleigh and Jacob (wedding dance-inspired Viennese waltz), Noelle and Russell (tennis hip hop), and Pauline and Peter (Van Gogh contemporary). Forgettable, as our friend Simon Cowell would say, were Victor and Bianca (gospel-type, churchy one) and Phillip and Channing (samba).

My personal faves right now are Karen, Ryan, Legacy, and Mollee...but that's only based on one dance because last week my DVR failed me. Yes, folks, I missed the performances. (sob) In fact, my ability to even address all of this is a testament to my personal fortitude. (I'm a survivor.) An interesting note is that, according to my son who noticed a familiar-looking picture of Christ in their apartment during the brief bios last week, Ashleigh and Ryan are LDS. He could be right, as they are from Utah. Of course, they could have just bought the familiar red-robed picture at a Deseret Book store, but since they attended BYU and were on the dance team, I think it's a pretty good bet that they are indeed Mormon. Mollee is from Utah, too, but I've got no scoop on her Mormon or non-Mormon-ness...although she is named "Mollee," if that means anything. (Please excuse fairly lame insider LDS joke.)

By the way, I like the new judge, Adam Shankman. His comments are more interesting than most, and he manages to ask for a lot from contestants without being a jerk about it.

Okay, on to Dancing with the Stars. It's no surprise that Michael and Anna are gone, though he upped his game a bit in the last two weeks. I've also been enjoying his attitude with the other dancers, but being the best motivational coach does not equal being the best participant. So I can say good-bye to Michael with a sense of equanimity. As for Lacey and Mark, I'm sadder to see them go, although he and Kelly Osbourne were by all rights the next two in jeopardy, ability-wise. My issue with bidding Mark farewell is that he got a raw deal due to Lacey's flu, but I guess that's show biz, right? And he certainly was gracious about everything. Mostly, I will miss Lacey's choreography, which is consistently edgy and original.

All three of the couples in danger performed to the height of their abilities in the dance-off, so I guess I'm okay with the two couples that ended up leaving. Kelly remains on board mainly because of her appealing personality, but that's not going to get her through from here on out. She'll have to come up with enough inner peace and poise to dance as well as she is capable of dancing (which, I believe, is pretty well). Having said that, I predict she'll be the next celeb to vacate the DWTS premises, unless Donny completely messes up...or kisses Bruno again. (Please, no.)

For me, the top two couples continue to be Mya and Dmitry and Derek and Joanna, with Aaron and Karina a fairly close third. Since Aaron and Joanna have personalities that don't exactly charm me, my hopes are riding on Mya. For now, at least.

BORN (cool) IN THE USA

Some kids are just born cool

It shows up early

Before they're even big enough

To call themselves two years old

All photos property of Heather Anderson

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them...

Wouldn't it be wonderful to look at the world

Through a child's eyes?

To find the bits of gold in life...

Delighting in the commonplace,

Reaching out for what we want,

Knowing what we'll always need is help?

Wouldn't it be wonderful to look at the world

Through a child's eyes?

To know that we could trust another?...

Look to someone greater than ourselves?

Wouldn't it be wonderful to look at the world

through a child's eyes?

All photos property of Heather Anderson

Kathryn Soper: She Writes in Beauty

Are any of you familiar with Kathryn Lynard Soper of Segullah fame? Last night, I inhaled an entire book by this woman at one sitting, and it went down smooooth (like buttah). Her message spoke to my heart, but her words sang to my heart in an arrangement worthy of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Imbuing simple language with complex meaning, the pauses and spaces between words became as much a part of their impact as the sentences and syllables themselves. Sailing on a sea of inflection and rhythm, I was carried through a seemingly daunting tangle of trouble and raw emotion. Yet reading her book felt peaceful, like taking the first careful steps through newly fallen snow, not wanting to disturb the beauty. Oh, yes, her gift is a lovely one.

And I haven't even talked about content yet. The book is called "The Year My Son and I Were Born," and it details the first twelve months of her premature son's life. Born with Trisomy 21 and nearly succumbing to sepsis in the NICU, the child gets a rough start, to say the least. Boldly, Ms. Soper shines a light on her emotional journey through this unexpected challenge, sparing no detail to shield herself from the glare, applying no magnifying glass to enhance the glow. Her story just is. Is honest. Is real. Is accepting. Is uplifting. Is remarkable. Is worthy of your attention.

Do yourself a favor, and read it soon. (Or fall into it, like I did.) You don't need to have a son with Down Syndrome to be mentored and altered by it. You only need to be human.