Saturday, May 29, 2010

Send in the Acrobats: Saturday Centus

Jenny Matlock

It's Saturday Centus at Jenny's, and yes, I'm playing! Remember the drill from last time? (100 words in response to a prompt that must be included in the body of text, right?) The prompt is in red. Here goes...


Incredible! Who moves like that? Clapping with unexpected appreciation, Mary turned to her dad. Immediately, her hands dropped. Where was he? The circus was his idea. Her stomach lurched, wonder suspended.

“Excuse me,” she whispered, pushing through the crowd.

Familiar tightness entered her. Chill out. He's in the restroom. But her body wasn’t listening. Old habits. Deliberately, Mary relaxed. Where was that exit?

“May I help you, miss? You look puzzled.”

“Mmmm… thank you, I’m just looking for my father. We came in together a moment ago, but he seems to have wandered off.”

Her smile slipped as she offered a description, answering questions. Did it matter where he worked? Quit wasting time. Start looking. Before...

Later, they found him in the funhouse, reeking of cheap alcohol, giggling like a child.

24 comments:

Viki said...

Wow, this was such a unique take on this. I love it but feel sad for the girl. Great job.

cj Schlottman said...

I always hated the circus. I'm certain a clown led you father astray.

jeff campbell said...

"unexpected appreciation" says it all...for the both of you. Love this story...Peace

Sami said...

Very unique, and a bittersweet ending. Fantastic :)

jen said...

Great writing. That one took skill, and very different from your normal writing. Just wondering how the story completes itself.

Unknown said...

Bravo! Love it!

karen said...

I don't understand at all what we're doing here, but I was getting interested in the story. Now I'm at odds with a lot of WHYs?

Jess said...

Now I'm wondering how it ended? Ever considered writing the teasers for books? you'd be really good at it- but you're great at writing so it's no surprise.

Susan Anderson said...

Karen...You were on vacation the last time I did this Saturday Centus thing, so I'll explain in a little more detail. It's Jenny Matlock's meme; you take a prompt she gives you and turn it into a short piece where you can only use 100 words to create a little story. It's fun...and some of the participants come up with pretty great stuff. (You can go read more of them by following the link in this post.)

=)

Unknown said...

oh how sad! poor child. very good centus.

Vicki/Jake said...

Sounds like my childhood...
Great way to take it this week.

Joy For Your Journey said...

Oh dear. Poor girl. But what made him leave to do that?

Jenny said...

Love it. OK, I gotta get my game on to even be in the same meme as all of you this week!

Clever, clever story.

My imagination goes 100 ways with this ending.

Terra said...

Good one. drinking again eh? so hard. Very nice read!

easternsparkle said...

That was so unexpected - well written!

Michelle said...

You're good. What else can be said?

Anonymous said...

Oh what a sad story! Well written!

People Who Know Me Would Say: said...

I love the setting, the story and, most especially, the ending. It left me wondering how he got there and ended up that way!

BECKY said...

So unique, from beginning to end! Loved it!

Darlene said...

Sue, I still don't know how you do this, in such a short time too. It seems that you can write about anything anytime anywhere.

Tgoette said...

Ah, yes...we've all been there! LOL! Great piece of storytelling!

Cheryl said...

Sad but rings so true.

Caroljs said...

What a sad story, good job x

Kat said...

Very clever, and it rings so true. Wonderful writing. Kathy