Friday, August 11, 2017

Depression: Cornering the [Black] Market

©2017 Susan Noyes Anderson

You don't understand me,
he said.
No one knows
of the suffering
stored in my soul.

I told him of dark days
I stumbled 
and bled,
days when life nearly
swallowed me whole.

But it wasn't the same,
he insisted;
his pain
was unique and mine
could not compare.

My empathy suspect,
my counsel
in vain,
I held back things
I wanted to share.

It bruised me to look
 at him,  
caught up in
misery, claiming
it all as his own.

He holds the black shadow
so close to 
his chest
that he's left
to do battle alone.

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annell4 said...

I suppose we think the (Black) market we experience is worst than what others experience. Still, only we know what it is, we forget we cannot know for another. Because we know the darkness and pain, we must learn to sit quietly and listen. Sometimes that is what one needs.

I do not know this for sure, but surely if the wound is deep, we have the opportunity to learn much. Hopefully, we are changed. We can never slip on what we were, again. It just won't fit.

Susan Anderson said...

Yes, sometimes (quite often) the battle must be fought alone and listening is all we can do. But it's a difficult task to watch the pain of loved ones and not be able to help, especially when we know firsthand how awful it is. Even worse is when the darkness is entirely neuro-chemical in origin, with no corresponding wound to address.

There is always a chance to reach out of course, no matter the depth of the sorrow, and I think those who are able to do that fare better. The Catch-22 of depression is that not many are not well enough to view that as an option. Thanks for your well-considered thoughts on the subject.

The Bizza said...

I struggle with depression. This poem hits on what it's like sometimes to be swallowed up so completely in the void that you can't see anything beyond it. You deftly captured the struggle of one in the grips of darkness and those who know that pain, but feel powerless to help.

Everything about this is tonally on point and essential.

Grace said...

This poem has depth and hits you hard ~ I think that when one is alone with dark shadows, it can be difficult to get out of it, without a helping hand ~

Frank Hubeny said...

That is what I understand depressed people do in general, but perhaps they don't want their depression to spread to others. Smiling, I think, helps.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for drawing us in and bringing this moment alive. It is important to know, We are not alone.

tonispencer said...

I keep my depression to myself, as I think most people who suffer from chronic clinical depression. Meds help. So does talking about it.

Momza said...

So very on spot with your observations, Sue. Thank you!

ayala said...

It is difficult to extend a hand in attempt of lifting someone from their desperation only to be rejected. I have been in those dark places and it's hard to pull oneself out of there. Lovely poem.

yaya said...

I don't think I've been here in a bit..your blog fell off my list for some reason but I'm getting it back and will be able to enjoy your amazing poetry again. Depression is so hard to understand if you've never been there. This poem really does hit the mark. Take care Sue.

ghost moon said...

A poignant, powerful poem. Depression is complex and difficult to comprehend. The best we can do is listen and encourage the person to seek out professional help.

LeAnn said...

Oh sweet Sue, this touched me in a very deep way! We actually are working with three individuals that are in a dark place. We do a lot of listening. We know that understanding the Atonement of Jesus Christ and partaking of it can provide the answer. It's just so hard to pull them out of this darkness into the light. Depression is a difficult one in a multitude of ways.
Sending loving thoughts and hugs your way!

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

I so get this and kind of wish I didn't. Depression is one of those things I think we try to hide--and it is best not too, but talking about it to friends can make them feel helpless, or at least that has been my experience of it--and maybe that is just the face of depression--this piece really touched me--

Kweli said...

Great to see, for a change, that misery does not love company. Just as happiness and love can be jealously guarded, it is true that we think of our suffering and pain as unique. A moving write.

Karen Sue said...

So hard to admit that we are not as put together and able to handle all the garbage that comes our way sometimes...trying to crawl out from under the rock that this year has been. I am so blessed that it gives me heavy guilt to admit the level of lowness that has been hanging on my heart. Thanks for every word..

carol l mckenna said...

What marvelous poetry and photo ~ both very creative and deeply expressive ~ thanks for sharing ~ Wishing you weekend of peace and joy ~ xxx

(A Shutterbug Explores)

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