How Sweet It Is: On Strengths, Sparks, Sealings, and Stephanie

It would be futile to blog about anything but Stephanie Nielson today, because that's what's in my heart and on my mind. While I did mention her story a year ago (before it became a source of internet prayer and inspiration), I've avoided sharing my feelings about her again for fear of intruding on her privacy in some way. This morning I've decided to run that risk so I can say what's in my heart about her and the amazing experience she is living with such grace and courage.

I won't repeat the details, which are already known to most of you through the many beautiful expressions of love and faith on her blog (and cjane's). If you are unfamiliar with Stephanie's journey, her writings are sure to uplift and inspire you, both those from before and those created after the crash. In fact, she epitomizes in every way imaginable the quote from Washington Irving highlighted on her blog today: "There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."

How true this is, and how often I have seen it expressed in the lives of women around me. I have even felt it in my own life at times when my personal worthiness has been sufficient to kindle it. Today I am particularly aware of how critical our awareness of this "spark of heavenly fire" is to our emotional and spiritual survival (and that of our families). The times in which we live require more than ever before an understanding of this power we possess, so that we can call upon it to bless ourselves, our families, and others.

Having said that, I was reminded in gospel doctrine today that there is even more to Stephanie Nielson's ability to heal and overcome adversity than her own considerable gifts as a daughter of God, for Stephanie is part of a team. As women with a divine spark, we are only half of the partnership provided by the Lord to create and bless eternal families. A really great woman in my ward, one who has raised many children and is no stranger to adversity, spoke up today in our Sunday School lesson on the subject of being sealed for time and all eternity. She witnessed that it is the covenants she and her husband made at the time of their own sealing that have brought them through the ups and downs inherent in nearly fifty years of marriage to the point where they are today. Though I agreed entirely with her statement, I would have done nothing more than nod in affirmation had it not been for her added testimony, an observation that struck me with considerable force. My friend said something to the effect that it was those very same covenants that brought the pioneers across the plains and gave them strength to endure the overwhelming loss and hardship that were frequently theirs. I had never drawn that parallel for myself, and it resonated with me as Truth. What a powerful and driving force for good these sacred covenants are and have been! They give us a foundation that cannot fail, for they provide the bedrock of the gospel of Jesus Christ under our feet and point our way home.

A glimpse of this foundation of bedrock, based upon covenant, is what Stephanie and Christian Nielson have so generously shared with us in the past year. Their journey through a literal trial by fire continues to change the lives of everyone around them, members of the Church and non-members alike, and the indescribable beauty of their eternal union is captured for all to see in the photo posted on her blog today. The combined light of womanhood and priesthood shines visibly from their countenances, eclipsing earthly imperfections and promising that every one of us can be healed similarly...and eternally. What's more, the power of temple covenants, made in the presence of God and available to all of His children, will continue to carry them (and others who make and honor such covenants) safely through whatever life has to offer.

How sweet it is!

NO (self-imposed) LIMITS

I HATE limitations, both acknowledging that they exist and bowing to them. Of course, some limitations are real and must be respected. I can't spend time in the sun, for instance, because it gives me an auto-immune reaction. I can't eat whatever I want and expect my blood sugar to remain within normal limits because I have diabetes. (I can't eat a fraction of what I want and expect to remain thin because I am over 50 and have the metabolism of a dead slug!)

Be that as it may, there are many limitations that are NOT based in reality, limitations we place upon ourselves or allow others to place upon us. These can and need to be challenged if we are to reach our true potential and make the most of our humanity. Whether we or others fashion the boxes we too often live in, the result is the same: relative inertia. Being or feeling stuck is no fun, but happily, there is an antidote...one we already carry with us. It doesn't have to be ordered, mixed or measured...ingested, digested or safety-tested. It's part of our intrinsic make-up. In other words, it comes with that amazingly versatile package we call "self," and most of us are already aware of its existence. Regrettably, we are usually limited (there's that word again!) in its use.

What are we talking about? Free will. Pure and simple. We've all got it, but from the day we are born we and others begin placing constraints upon it. Of course, many of these restraints are good and necessary. But more than a few of them never were or are not now necessary. And it's up to us to figure out the difference. (Prayer helps in this process, for no one is more aware of our limitless potential than the Lord. And no one is more interested in our fulfillment of that potential.)

Here's some food for thought:

Why are adult elephants successfully tied with only a lightweight chain, one they could easily break? The answer is simple, but has profound implications. As babies, they are restrained by a very heavy chain on one foot, from which they cannot break loose. As they grew older, they do not forget this "lesson." Eventually, the chain of their (faulty) perception of not being able to break free is enough to hold them.

In one experiment, a barracuda was separated from minnows in a water tank by clear plastic. Initially, the barracuda (in search of a good meal) kept crashing into the clear plastic. The researchers learned, however, that after repeated failures to penetrate this invisible wall, the barracuda kept swimming in its own area indefinitely, even after the clear plastic was removed.

What false limitations are implanted in our psyches by ourselves or others? What imaginary bounds do we experience as impenetrable walls or unbreakable chains? Perhaps it would be a good idea to reassess, even challenge our own premises once in a while, especially those that govern the limitations we impose upon ourselves. I'm in that process right now, and it feels pretty good.

Kinda like spring cleaning in the summer.

=)

Anatomy of a Bedside Table

My friend (Fiauna) came up with a fun little game on her blog yesterday, one that I thoroughly enjoyed. As a direct result, I will now duplicate her creative notion (flagrantly, but with the greatest respect and no small amount of deference) by showing you the exciting items presently inhabiting the bedside tables of my husband and myself. I begin with HIS:

Here lies... the usual clock radio; 1 bottle of water atop a coaster inscribed, "Grow old with me; the best is yet to be" (as engraved by the hubby on my wedding band nearly 37 years ago); The Miracle of Forgiveness and Gospel Principles, "go-to" manuals for any YA ward bishop (note the remote on top, indicating which was used most recently!); phone (d'ya think I want it on MY side of the bed?!); treasure box with seldom-used journal and lovely, accompanying pen inside; and standard-issue tissue box. (Standard-issue tissue. I like that!)

And now for my OWN treasures: Seek and ye shall find nary one book! (I only read sitting up, in my favorite chair.) However, you will find some lemon verbena foot lotion; a tray which is supposed to be for my glasses but ends up holding 1/4 of a blood pressure tablet, just in case; a self-styled, velvet pen holder; a small but sufficiently noisy traveling alarm clock; a unique little box holding 3 pewter hearts, a silver necklace, and whatever forgotten earring may have poked me in the night and needed a quick home; four yummy, clove-scented candles (I'm a sucker for cloves); a plaque my sister gave me that says, "Little by little time goes by, short if you sing, long if you cry. Note by note, life's music plays on, songs ever changing but never gone"; (observe the semi-colon placement, heehee...of course, a comma would have been placed inside the quotes)...and a pen and notepad for nocturnal inspiration. Oh yes, and my own standard-issue tissues, cleverly disguised in a rather feminine-looking treasure chest.

Thanks, Fiauna! I think you may have invented a new meme. Anyone else care to give it a go on their blog?

=)

Commas, Periods, and Quotation Marks

I've noticed lately that electing to follow the "American" rules for commas, periods, and quotation marks often places me in the minority. Frequently, when I punctuate my writing utilizing American rather than British rules, people who wish to use the work will correct what is perceived by them as an error. It's true that the British rules are more intuitive and logical, but then so are the British, right? (Well...more logical, anyway.) Be that as it may, the American standard is strictly followed by editors of all literary work in the US, though not always followed in technological work. For what it's worth, here is the American rule of thumb (per wiseGEEK.com, Sue's favorite online repository of facts––endorsed by Encyclopedia Britannica, Yahoo, and moi. heehee):

"When using quotation marks, people are faced with several choices as to how to place punctuation like commas and periods. If you’re writing with British standards, commas, periods, question marks and others fall naturally. Some are included within the quotation marks, if it makes sense, and others are outside of it. The standard rule in American punctuation is that periods go inside quotation marks, as do most commas, even if the punctuation is not part of the quote.

"American English is known for its exceptions to rules, and there is one type of incidence where it would not be the case that periods go inside quotation marks. If you place quotation marks around a letter or number, usually the period or comma falls outside the quotes. Consider the following example:

I got three “Bs” and an “A”.

"This is the only incidence that ignores the fact that most periods go inside quotation marks. The letter in quotes stands alone.

"In most other incidences, though, you’ll find periods go inside quotation marks, and so do commas. Even if you’re quoting a couple of words from a text, commas (without being part of the text) are included in the quotes:

The poet refers to the graveyard as “dismal,” “heartbreaking,” “sleeping,” and “fat.”

"Note the commas, though they probably are not part of the original quote. In British English, these would fall outside the quotes.

"While you can stand by the rule that most periods go inside quotation marks, and most commas will also do so if you're writing in American English, there are different rules for other types of punctuation." (Question marks and semi-colons, for example, go outside the quotes unless they are part of the quoted material itself.)

CLEAR AS MUD, EH? But who ever said proper punctuation was easy? (Yeah, that's what I thought!)

Anyway, for reasons I can't even begin to explain or justify, I just wanted to put this out there. Admit it, you're fascinated. heehee

The Power of Three

The Power of Three

©2003 Susan Noyes Anderson, His Children, Vantage-Point Press

there’s wisdom here

the power of three

the power of surf

and sand and sea

the power to kneel

upon the ground

the power to build

on something sound

the power to feel

that nothing ends

the power of three

the power of friends

the power of surf

and sand and sea

there’s wisdom here

the power of three

This poem was initially written for His Children, my book with photographer Anita Schiller, but these wonderful photos of my grandchildren brought it to my mind immediately. Sometimes they are friends and sometimes they are foes, but the strong ties that clearly bind them are powerful and unchanging.

These three are a team, and it cheers my heart to see the visual proof...recorded, as usual, by their mother. Thanks, Heather!

To the Victor(s) Goes the Prize!

First of all, I'd like to congratulate those who won and commiserate with those who didn't. Win or lose, each of you is greatly appreciated. (My 300th-post anniversary is coming up next month, so never fear...another giveaway will be in the works soon!)

BECAUSE I LIKE GIVEAWAYS.

Yep, I do! There's nothing quite so fun as writing all of your names the appropriate number of times on little slips of paper, folding them up, putting them in a bowl, and picking out prize winners. (Okay, maybe there are a few things that are more fun...) But this is definitely right up there. When else in my lifetime will short and stubby me ever feel akin to Vanna White? Besides, being the great giver of prizes is pretty heady stuff. ;)

Okay, enough talk and more action. It's time for the big reveal!

The five winners of Sue's One Year Blogiversary Giveaway are:

1. Karen from K2Cole - Custom poem for the occasion of your choice

2. Jen - My first book, At the End of Your Rope, There's Hope

3. Lisa - CD of my favorite selection of very cool tunes

4. Tiffany - Magnets from Junky Heirloom

5. KC Mom - Note cards from Cheeky Cards

Congratulations, my friends!! Now all you need to do is email me your addresses so I can get everything sent out as soon as possible. (My email can be found by clicking on my profile...)

Thanks to everyone for playin'. (And for readin', too.) I only wish I could give something to every single one of you. Without you guys, this blogging business wouldn't be any fun at all.

But with you, it's pretty terrific.

=)

The Source: A Mother's Musings

The Source

©1999 by Susan Noyes Anderson

If I had words to wrap around

those mommy days and mother years,

I’d hold them in my hands and say

that nothing ever disappears.

But I can’t seem to feel the page,

and all this stuff just moves so fast––

in bits and pictures, fading memories

of an ever-fading past.

My life is turning over now;

it’s tumbling down a hill of time

and every stone unearthed rolls on…

No looking back, no saving climb

can make tomorrow yesterday,

can soften chin and jaw and cheek;

my smile is no more universe;

my eyes, though warm, they do not seek.

A river runs and so it should;

I would not have it change its course,

but as it rushes to the sea,

it also leaves behind the Source.

I wrote this poem ten years ago, but I feel the sentiments that inspired it every bit as strongly today, one week after our always-too-brief period of family togetherness at the beach house. Apparently, the empty nest is a syndrome from which I will never entirely recover. My life has many good things in it, fulfilling things––to say nothing of my wonderful husband-–but none of these quite fills the space or satisfies the longing for those golden days when every one of our children lived under one roof...when our family was always complete, not just in emotional bonding but in physical presence.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy that my children have grown and thrived and developed their own lives apart from mine. And yet, that particular victory of parenting is bittersweet. One of the ironies of raising and nurturing our young successfully is that we, in the doing of it, lay the groundwork for our own obsolescence. Or maybe I should say relative obsolescence. I'm very much aware that I am anything but obsolete in my children's lives. Having said that, my former role has seen its day.

On almost every level, this pleases me.

But it pains me, too. And that's the truth of it.

Today is the last day to leave a comment on my one-year blogiversary post (do it before 11:59 PM) to win one of five fun prizes. Good luck, everyone! Remember, your name will be entered one time for each of the following: leaving a comment, being a follower, grabbing my blog button, and linking to my blogiversary post, thereby increasing your chances of winning. The victorious five will be announced tomorrow morning!

=)

On the Other Hand...

Sometimes

being tethered

to something

is a good thing.

(See yesterday's post to put this one in context.)

***Don't forget to leave a comment on my one-year blogiversary giveaway post and qualify for some cool prizes! Tomorrow night is the deadline!!