Whenever I Think of 9/11...

Whenever I think of 9/11, I think of the firefighters

Brave men who did their jobs under the worst possible conditions

Men who showed up for work because the city they loved needed them

Who knew full well they were putting their lives on the line

Lives they were willing to forfeit to save the lives of others

From a disaster of previously unimaginable proportions

On a day eclipsed by horror and ennobled by courage

A day where entire fire stations were all but decimated

And too many good men were lost.

Whenever I think of 9/11, I think of the firefighters.

And their families.

And all of the people they saved...and couldn't save.

May God bless them, every one.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

WINNERS OF THE GIVEAWAY:

1. KC Mom

2. K2Cole

3. Karen

4. Carolyn

5. Momza

Congratulations, ladies. Please let me know the prize of your choosing. (A copy of His Children, a copy of the 3 CDs I burned for Lisa, any item from Cheeky Cards, or any item from Junky Heirloom.)

THE RULES (Not for Dating, for Parenting)

Back around the turn of the century (well, actually it was 2001 to 2003 or so), I wrote for Deseret Book's online magazine (then called Mormon-Life, now called LDS Living.) One of the things I did for them was a parenting column, responding on a weekly basis to questions from readers who were dealing with particular issues or problems. Oddly enough, when a parent asked me to list a few basic rules for parenting, I found myself feeling somewhat qualified to give them to her. My youngest child was 20 at the time, and I was very much aware of several things I would have done differently, given the knowledge and opportunity, of course. Was it possible others could learn from my mistakes?

I did end up making the list, but I began with a disclaimer. It took the form of my signature parenting poem, sort of a fractured Rudyard Kipling:

IF (for Parents of Teenagers)

If you can keep your head and not lose favor,
When adolescence makes its grand debut;
If you can trust yourself to never waver,
And always keep an optimistic view;
If you can hold your judgment when teens stumble,
Then watch with loving patience as they rise;
And strive to be forgiving—firm, yet humble,
And loyal, even in the face of lies;
If you can always understand the reason,
Yet never give up looking for the rhyme;
And hold your tongue when silence is in season,
Remembering that all things pass, with time;
If you can seek and find the strength within you,
And neither shrink, nor shun, the grueling fight;
If you can move the mountain, or begin to,
And never, in the darkness, lose the light;
If you can lead when children will not follow,
Yet follow, when you must, where they will lead;
And neither lose yourself, nor wind up hollow,
An empty vessel, sacrificed to need;
If you can do all these and never falter,
Nor doubt, nor pause, nor ever give up hope;
Then you are made of stone, just like Gibraltar,
And every other parent is a dope!

©1997 Susan Noyes Anderson, At the End of Your Rope, There's Hope; Deseret Book

In other words, no one is going to do the parenting job perfectly. Ain't gonna happen. Like every mom or dad, I managed to get more than a few things wrong (still do!), but I also learned more than a few things from my mistakes (still am!). So why not have a look? Maybe you can learn something from my mistakes, too. (And share with me what you have learned or are still learning from yours!)

I call the list:

"Parenting from the Empty Nest: Ten Things I Really Wish I'd Done Better"

(Also known as "Confessions of a Well-Meaning Mistake-Maker") Here goes:

1. Hold family prayer and scripture study every single day, morning and night, no matter how crazily people's schedules are changing or evolving at any given time.
2. Conduct Family Home Evening every single week, no matter how much fighting, biting, and grumbling ensue.
3. Spend more time together as a family working, ignoring as best you can whatever murmuring this entails. (Hopefully, you can avoid full-scale revolt.) Never underestimate what even a small or special needs child can do. Allow each family member the honor and personal importance of contributing to the group effort and being needed in his role. (Work should include family projects in the home and regularly scheduled service projects outside the home.)
4. Spend more time together as a family playing (being dull and/or decrepit, a workaholic, or Relief Society president does not constitute an excuse); don't let "more important things" edge out family fun, traditions, and bonding. Balance is key!
5. Let your child pick up the tab. Allow your child the personal satisfaction and esteem that comes from earning his own way. Rather than paying for something he wants, offer to pay half, matching his funds. (If you like, you can put your portion into a secret account for your child and give it to him upon graduation from high school, return from a mission, or college.) Don't overindulge children. Less IS more.
6. Remember, parenting is not about you. In life, coach and support your child from the sidelines; never step onto center stage and take over. Every child needs to realize he is the key player in his life.
7. No bail outs. Don't rescue your child from negative consequences. Allow him the dignity to learn valuable lessons he needs and deserves.
8. Know when to back off. Wherever possible, give your child opportunities to make appropriate decisions and develop competence. Resist the temptation to enforce your will where it is not necessary, allowing your child to gain a sense of himself. Don't overshadow your child.
9. Get rid of those blinders and look beneath the surface. Take time to find out who your child really is; don't just make assumptions. Honor his feelings. Love him for himself, remembering that he is a spirit in his own right with his own path to trod (and his own way to trod it). We are all different.
10. Remember which plan was Heavenly Father's. Do everything you can to teach your child right from wrong; be sure to set fair, firm limits and consistently enforce reasonable (preferably natural) consequences; then RESPECT HIS AGENCY.

One more disclaimer: If you're over the hill like me, don't get discouraged--You can work out the bugs on your grandchildren! heehee (Hope you like the picture of my oldest one at the top, working his little heart out!)

=)

PS. Don't forget to leave a comment on my giveaway post and put your name in the running for your choice of five prizes! Last day to enter is today, before 11:59 PM!

A Child's Faith

There's something about this picture that really touches me, because the very act of putting a seashell up to your ear and expecting to hear something is a testament to faith. I would like to be a little more like my grandson here, ready and willing to believe that magic can and does happen.

Sometimes I do overcome my world-weary complacency and recapture the hope and innocence of youth. When this happens, all things seem possible. And it happens more often (and more easily) when I am around energetic grandchildren who remind me that, while negativity and cynicism are learned behaviors, hope and wonder are natural states of being for all of us.

After all, men are that they might have joy, right?

And I had more than my share of JOY last weekend.

=)

PS. Don't forget to leave a comment on my giveaway post and put your name in the running for your choice of five prizes! Last day to enter is Thursday, until 11:59 PM!

A Family Gathering Beats Every Otherthing

Family Reunion accomplished! Our lively group of Swedes had a terrific weekend together, replete with remembered glories and battle stories. By the time we sat down to breakfast Monday morning, it was all over but the shouting. And the eating. And oh, yes, a little bit of crying, too. After a Country Inn-style feast, we reluctantly bid each other farewell until two years hence in Idaho. Here's the quick recap:

1st night...Sonoma Chicken Coop and a private room...

just for telling stories!

More Chicken Coop. And more stories, too.

2nd day, afternoon. Sue's house.

Still finding lots and lots to talk about.

A veritable gabfest in the back yard. Good food, too.

And, of course, dinner at the institute building...Baja Fresh.

All of which were followed by my storytellin' mama, who held us right in the palm of her hand for an hour or so telling tales of our grandma and grandpa's courtship and early years. It doesn't get much more interesting than that! In the end, we didn't have time to read Grandma J's personal history aloud as planned, but here is an excerpt from the family memory book assembled a few years ago by our cousin, Diane:

"Through the cold winter, we did have quite a lot of bad colds. My dear, faithful mother went from one house to another caring for the sick. I feel sure she cured many a case of pneumonia with her hot toddy and mustard plasters. She also delivered many babies. She had no learning for such things, but the fact was that she felt she had to help, and she did gain quite a lot of practical experience. When anyone was sick, they always sent for Sister Peterson, and many times she left her own sick family to do for others when she was needed at home.

"I also want to say this of my devoted mother. She was a peacemaker. Whenever there were misunderstandings, jealousy or other troubles, Mother would see to it that the parties meet and talk things over and with her help, many difficulties were forgiven and forgotten."

It seems that our beloved grandma was very much like her own mom, Great Grandma Peterson. (As it happens, I was on the receiving end of a few of those mustard plasters myself!) Both of these great ladies make us proud, if we do say so ourselves. (And we do!) It also makes us proud to hear that, when our grandpa's water investment went bad, he and his brother sold their wonderful farms to pay back not only their own debt, but the debt of their partners. They were as honest as the day is long, and we hope to keep that tradition of integrity going in our family.

Of course, there are other traditions, too. Like music, humor, love of the land, and love for each other...to say nothing of the tradition of belief that brought the family to this country in the first place. And while it's true that not every family in our tree continues that particular tradition, I sense that every family respects it.

Being with my extended family was especially sweet this weekend, and I feel more connected to them than ever before. Somehow, I have a feeling Grandma, Grandpa, and more than a few aunts and uncles (pictured below) were watching and enjoying the festivities. I sure did! Thanks for coming, everyone.

Grandma J., with six of her seven children

(and a few grandchildren), before I was born.

She's the cute little lady slightly to the left of middle.

And we all love her.

PS. Don't forget to leave a comment on my giveaway post and put your name in the running for your choice of five prizes!

Sue's 300-Posts-and-Counting Giveaway

Can't believe that today's post brings my Sue's News, Views 'n Muse total to 300! I started this little blog o' mine a year ago, which means that I haven't always averaged one post a day as originally planned. In the last few months, though, I've definitely come closer to that goal. And what a fun ride it has been.

I recently thanked you guys for being such faithful visitors, readers and commenters, but I feel like I need to go there once again, because writing to an empty house could never fill my cup the way writing to old and new friends like you does. I appreciate each and every relationship I've made, and I enjoy reading your blogs as much as I enjoy having you read mine. After all, everyone needs a good listening to now and again, right? And how often do we really get heard?

So, because I'm all about the blogging and the bloggers, I am hosting another giveaway in honor of my 300th post. This time, each of my 5 winners will be able to choose one of the following prizes: an autographed copy of His Children, a copy of the 3-CD set of my favorite tunes that I burned for Lisa, a gift of your choice from Cheeky Cards, or a gift of your choice (except for the wedding pack of picture frames) from Junky Heirloom. How's that for a super deal?

Here's what you need to do to qualify:

1. For one entry in the drawing, simply make a comment about Sue's News, Views 'n Muse.

2. Followers, old or new, will receive an additional entry.

3. Two additional entries for anyone who posts about and links to the giveaway.

4. And one final entry for anyone who can introduce me to a really cool blog that I don't already know about.

In other words, your name can be entered from one to five times. Good luck, gang. I wish you could ALL be winners!

(Well, in my book...you are.)

=)

PS. Winners names will be drawn on Thursday night at 11:59 PM and announced on Friday morning!

The Most Marvelous Magic of All: A Family

My parents are visiting me this weekend to participate in a family reunion for the maternal side of our family. As the sole, surviving matriarch of the J. clan, Mom will be missing the physical presence of her three brothers and three sisters who have passed on, but she will certainly be enjoying the company of their children. I will be enjoying their company, too! (My cousins are cool.)

On Sunday we plan to read some excerpts from my grandma's handwritten autobiography and share some of our favorite memories about her. I can't wait to find out if my cousins remember her as vividly as I do and whether our memories are similar or whether we perceived her differently.

Of course, we don't remember her like this.

But the handsome guy in this photograph does.

(Sadly, Grandpa J. died when my mom was only 10, but he and Grandma have been together again for many years.)

One of the best things of all is that every one my children is able to be here but the youngest, who couldn't get away from his studies and laboratory duties in Arizona. (We miss ya, Todd!) My grandkids spent most of the day in the pool, and we had one of those perfect, late-summer days, complete with full moon, pizza, and a trip to the magic tree. You know I'm in heaven.

And so are they!

(The magic tree is big stuff.)

And yet, the nicest thing that's happened to me so far has nothing to do with any of that. The very nicest thing came in the form of a handmade gift from my mother. Despite the ever-present pain in her fingers, she crocheted me a washcloth for my face, one which I will never use.

Sorry, mom.

It seems that some things are just too precious to be used

for anything so ordinary as washing a face.

When that happens, you simply keep them for the treasures they are.

Seek and Ye Shall Find

Hey! Have any of you noticed the cool new Search feature that Blogger now offers? (Or maybe they've been offering it all along, and I was just too lame to notice it.) At any rate, I enabled it the other day, and it's pretty cool.

Can you see that little Search box up there, perched atop the right side bar? All you have to do is enter a topic, and it pulls up every post related to that topic...and not just by the labels or titles either; it actually checks the content. For example, if you enter "tree," all the posts having anything at all to do with trees come up. If you enter "Christmas," all those posts appear, etc. (I know. You are thinking...Duh, Sue...but seriously, usually these Search features don't work all that well, and this one seems pretty efficient.) Anyway, I think it's a great addition. Instead of cruising through pages and pages trying to find a certain post, I can now locate it easily with my handy dandy Search widget!

I also wanted to say merci mille fois to all of Wednesday's commenters for giving waaaay more than casual responses to my blog makeover query. The truth is, I've been wanting to do some tinkering for quite a while but needed a push to get myself over the hump of clinging to what's familiar. (I tend to get attached to things, even when they don't deserve it!)

So, with your encouragement, I've decided to go ahead and have a minor facelift...nothing too extravagant, just a bit of added color and flair. (And for those of you who don't like slow-loading blogs and changing archives, don't worry!) Everything will be exactly the same except for the header and colors. All we're doing is enhancing the template I'm already using. The same lady who did my blog button is going to do the "remodel" for me, which is good because I love her work. (Thanks, Diana.)

It will take about a week, so get ready for the big reveal. Also, my 300th post is in the works for Monday...and you know what that means. Another giveaway! Woo-hoo!!

Isn't blogging exciting?

;)

The Government Can! But Should They?

Okay, guys. Get ready to be at least mildly amused about something that isn't particularly amusing at all. (I guess when the choice is between laughing and crying, I'd rather laugh.)



Don't get me wrong. I love my country (Uncle Sam included!) without reservation, but I sure don't love what's going on right now. And I'm convinced the founding fathers wouldn't feel too good about it either.

"/

GULP. And Now...for the Big Question...

Okay, so here's a question for every one of my readers. I sincerely hope you will answer me frankly, sacrificing nary an ounce of honest feedback to any (unwarranted) concerns you might have about diplomacy, tact, my feelings, etc. You see, my feelings are that I want to know what you really think!

So here's the query: Should I do a blog makeover? What I mean is, should I quit using the blogger template and get one like most of the rest of you have? (And if I did, do you really think it would make an appreciable difference as far as readership goes?) I was looking at a woman's post the other day, and she was absolutely convinced that her blog sort of "took off" after she made it over with a cool header, background, etc.

I've been convinced, too......that all that stuff didn't matter a bit, which is why I'm drawing all of you into my deliberations. Because I am entirely aware that, being such a "word" person, I may be overlooking the importance of "appearance." Would your enjoyment of Sue's News, Views, etc. increase to a significant degree if it looked more creative and original? And do you think, if you were a new visitor, that you would be likelier to return if the look were more in keeping with the mainstream loveliness of blogs in general?

That's the question, guys. So...please take a minute to comment today, regular followers and newbies alike, because my goal is to make this blog as pleasing to my readers as it is to me.

(Which would have to be pretty pleasing in order to meet that standard, as the writing of it pleases me no end!)

=)

PS. Let's face it. If personal flags were all the rage, them's the colors I'd be flyin'!

Love Song to San Francisco

I left my heart

in San Francisco

high on a hill,

it calls to me...

to be where little cable cars,

climb halfway to the stars,

the morning fog

may chill

the air.

I don't care.

My love waits there,

in San Francisco,

above the blue

and windy sea.

When I come home

to you

San Francisco,

your golden sun

will shine

for me!

(Ya gotta love this city!)

=)

PS. For those who have so kindly inquired, the colonoscopy was not bad at all. Truly. And I got a clean bill of health!