Robin Williams: The Joy and the Sadness

It's been a long time since I've felt irresistibly compelled to blog about something that's happened in the "real" world. My posting has slowed down considerably since my husband retired, and much of what I share is poetry at this point.

Having said that, today I hope to create some prose that somehow expresses my feelings about the death of Robin Williams. Experiencing such a visceral reaction to the passing of someone I don't even know surprises me, and I want to understand more about why I feel so personally bereaved. Clearly, I am not alone, because everywhere I look––both online and off––people are remembering him, talking about him, mourning him. I am mourning, too.

There was a joy about him, wasn't there? An irrepressibility of spirit that is rarely seen. It showed up in his comedy and in his acting, and it was carried in his eyes...kind eyes...eyes that twinkled both his joy and his suffering, often at the same time. In every close-up, you could see his humanity, his realness, his compassion...and he felt like your uncle, your father, your very close friend. There was a sweetness in his smile, one that transcended acting...or maybe I should say eclipsed it...because you could not look past the sense that he was every bit as kind and loving as he appeared. His unshuttered eyes were one of the remarkable things about him, I believe.

Of course he was funny, beyond funny, perhaps the funniest man we've ever seen; and he could act his pants off. (I smile, knowing Mr. Williams would have been off and running with that idiom.) Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets' Society and Good Morning Vietnam speak for themselves, and I believe Mrs. Doubtfire probably speaks for all of us who hope to find love and belonging in the world, with a few laughs along the way.

And so we are sad for ourselves, because we lost a bright light...a lively and creative mind...a genius of so much more than comedy. And we are sad for his family, who loved him as only those whose lives are personally touched by someone's energy can...up close and personal...so personal that his daughter Zelda's quote from Antoine de St.-Exupery's The Little Prince brought tears to my eyes in the reading, as did his birthday tweet to her last month (same link). But there is something more that saddens me, something that touches all of our lives as personally as Robin Williams touched the lives of his family.

Robin Williams was bipolar, which means he not only swung happy, but he swung sad...a sadness every bit as devastating as the humor that he so freely shared with us was elevating. Articles are saying that he "struggled" with depression, but that verb doesn't quite work for me. If my observations (formed by knowing and loving more than one person who is bipolar) mean anything, this remarkable man didn't struggle with depression. He was tormented by it, anguished by it, devastated by it. It terrified him in its unpredictability, in its inability to be reliably affected for the long term by treatment of any kind. Every remission was fickle, every relapse a desperate search for something new that might work, now that what was old had ceased to be effective. Most of the time, he didn't let that stop him. Monday, on one very bad morning, he did.

We are all the losers. The man was beloved, but I am troubled at statements made by strangers who would label him "selfish" for having the audacity to leave them and us bereft, people who clearly have never suffered as Mr. Williams did. Don't get me wrong, I am not a proponent of suicide...and I hope I never have to find out how it feels to love someone who seeks respite in that particular escape. But we can't judge another's pain unless we have walked a mile...no, 63 years...in his shoes, nor can we judge that person's inability to withstand the lure of permanent release in one weary, weakened moment when even his valiant spirit failed him.

Here's the thing. Robin Williams, judging from a career observed by many, was what we like to call in my family "a very hard tryer." He pushed himself to excel and achieve again and again, despite being afflicted (through no fault of his own) with the worst sort of burden to bear. I would guess that Sysyphus himself had nothing on Mr. Williams as he stressed and strained to push that boulder of depression up the hill, only to see it roll back down...over and over and over. Every time that stone hit bottom, I can only believe the heart of Robin Williams did, too...and as time passed, that bottom probably started feeling lower, that rock heavier. One of the most harrowing features of depression is its relentlessness...the inexorable nature of it...the entirely based-in-reality fear of never truly escaping it.

Selfishly, I wish Robin Williams had not escaped it. But I take exception to anyone calling him "selfish" for being temporarily overwhelmed by it. Another day, he might have found the strength to start pushing that boulder uphill yet again. Monday, he didn't. But that was one day out of a lifetime. And his courage was and is undeniable.

A final thing, if you'll bear with me. One actress tweeted, "If only Robin had known how many people loved him," her well-meaning inference being that, had he known of this love, he would not have ended his life. My thoughts run a different direction. I believe it is because Mr. Williams knew exactly how many people loved him that he found a way to live with his depression for 63 years. And for that, I thank him.

{I also thank untold others who are doing the same.}

Warm, Wise, and Wonderful Willett

If you haven't read a Marcia Willett novel, let me do you a favor and recommend that you pick up one (or several) and wander across the rose-covered lanes and rocky shores of her oh-so-charming English mind. The ambience of her books is so irresistible that I've been on a reading binge of sorts, inhaling her novels one after another on my Kindle. Now that I've exhausted that source, I am seriously considering buying hard copies of the rest and finishing the feast!

In the past couple of weeks, I have read the following: The Children's Hour, Christmas in Cornwall, The Courtyard, Echoes of the Dance, First Friends, A Friend of the Family, Second Time Around, A Summer in the Country, The Way We Were, and A Week in Winter. All are steeped in family and scented in English countryside, leaving this reader as calm and content as a cozy fireside sit-down with the likes of Rosamunde Pilcher.

So grab a fuzzy blanket, settle yourself in your favorite chair, and enter the world of unique characters, intriguing family relationships, and peaceful page-turning that is part and parcel of the Marcia Willett experience. But don't be surprised when she plants a garden of past and present secrets along the way...

=)

for more W posts, click below

Violence and Virtue

As I watch developing news about the likely perpetrators of our nation's most recent tragedy in Boston, my mind is flooded with unsettling questions. How does 19-year-old Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, described by an employee of his high school as "a lovely kid" and by a neighbor as having a "heart of gold," decide to kill and injure innocent people at random? His Facebook page proclaims that "Allah loves those who do good," and it's more than disturbing to consider that young Mr. Tsarnaev may have believed he was "doing good" by indiscriminately destroying other human beings.

CNN interviewed one employee of his former high school, a man who took extensive photos of the young wrestler and had come to know him well. The photographer was clearly astonished by these allegations and deeply saddened to think that the athlete he had liked and respected so much could intentionally hurt anyone. In his view, expressed in a voice trembling with emotion, such a thing was not compatible with the exemplary person he had befriended.

Peers admired and respected this classmate, fellow wrestlers praised his work ethic, teachers described him as a good student and a good example. He was never in trouble himself and never made trouble for others. In every way, he appeared to be no different from any other nice kid in any other friendly community.

The questions haunting me today are these: (1) How does the degree of violence allegedly manifested by Dzhokhar at the Boston Marathon co-exist with the degree of virtue others perceived in him? (2) How prevalent is this dichotomy of character in our society? and (3) What, if anything, can we do about it?

I don't pretend to have the answers, but a thread keeps running through my thoughts as I begin to search for some. Our culture is one that increasingly condones violence by the very act of not eschewing it, and every child born today is exposed to culture and media that permeate the consciousness with sights and sounds that previously would not have been countenanced in this country. Desensitization does occur, and it should come as no surprise that aggression is on the rise. Couple that growing aggression with an increasing lack of respect for the religious and political beliefs of others and a decreasing tolerance for their right to differ from our own, and you have a powder keg waiting to explode.

At this point, it is unclear whether this act of terror was inspired by Islamic extremism or not. Time will tell, but one thing is certain. Religion that parts ways with a love for all men ceases to be religion and becomes fanaticism. I repudiate the notion that religion can ever be righteously wielded as a club or brandished as a sword in behalf of God, Allah, or any other entity. My personal example is Christ, who taught what He knew to be truth yet allowed and still allows each person to accept or reject it. His exercise of religion was and is based on service and sacrifice, freedom and forgiveness, respect and redemption.

These are my strongly held beliefs: We are all children of God, no matter what religion we espouse or choose not to espouse. Each and every life matters...to Him and to us. We are brothers and sisters, taking this journey together according to His plan. We will not walk in lock step, nor were we meant to. All are granted the ability and agency to find our way back to the loving Father who created us, and ours is to love and support each other as best we can along the way.

What can we do to brighten the world while we are here? We can endure in faith, believing that goodness is stronger than evil, holding up whatever light we have against the darkness and asking for more. If we are willing, Christ's words in His Sermon on the Mount can be revealed in us, as individuals and as a nation:

"Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 5:14-16).

Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheist, Jew or "other," you don't have to be a follower of Christ to live like one. Goodness is goodness. Light is light. Darkness is darkness. Which will we choose for ourselves, and how are we willing to live to support that choice?

Shining a light is not and never can be a passive thing. It requires energy, effort and no small amount of valor, especially when shadows loom large and threaten. But there are more light-bearers out there than we might think. And they are far easier to recognize when we are standing among them.

for more V posts, click below

Get It Right and Sleep Tight!

How well do YOU sleep at night? If your answer is "not as well as I'd like," and your weariness has nothing to do with the parenting of nocturnal children, then read on––because your friend Sue is about to hand out one heck of a good tip!

You see, I have stumbled across a sleep solution that is kicking the behind of some menopause-related insomnia that's been plaguing me for more years than I care to mention. Not one to take Ambien, valerian, or even melatonin (I know, I'm a bit conservative in this area), I have finally settled on something that I AM comfortable using––essential oils.

The brand I like is DoTerra: specifically, the lavender essential oil and the Serenity essential oil blend. I simply rub two drops of each on my tootsies (yep, that's right...my feet) at night, et voila! I am off to greet the Sandman, who is keeping company with me at least an hour longer than he used to...and sometimes, two hours! I have gone from being a 5:00 am riser to a 6 or even 7:00 am riser. Instead of a meager five hours per night, I sometimes get six or seven! What could be better?? (Well, maybe being able to eat whatever I wanted to without gaining weight...) *sigh* I wonder if they have an essential oil for that?!

All kidding aside, while I'm not sure exactly how these oils work, I am convinced they do. And not just for sleep, either. The other day I had an infected bug bite that would normally have taken two weeks to stop itching. Instead, I looked up the complaint in my trusty essential oils book; was advised to layer lemon, lemongrass, and lavender on the site; and could barely even see the bump two days later. Miracle cure, if you ask me. I've also staved off a couple of colds sucking on DoTerra's On Guard throat drops, which consist of nothing more than orange, clove, cinnamon bark, eucalyptus, and rosemary. Best of all, I am now rubbing frankincense on the back of my neck every night to benefit my aging brain, among other things. (This a pretty versatile oil, and who wouldn't want to use a gift of the magi to improve her health, right?) You'll be pleased to know that myrrh is available, too, which was used in ancient days to combat leprosy and is still known for combatting skin ulcers, stretch marks, and weeping wounds.

Having been disappointed by many a doctor in my life, including but not limited to unnecessary surgeries and toxic-to-me medications, I like the idea of using something natural to gently move my body in the direction of healing. Essential oils are filling that bill for me, and I am a big fan!

=)

Y Can't We Just Get Along?

From what I've heard, read and experienced, this election brought some disturbance in the force for many people in our country––creating large and small tremors among blog pals, other friends, and even family members. This poem, which is not really directed at any one person, is meant to be sort of a universal outcry. Still, I will say that it was written from my paradigm and did spring from a couple of interactions that troubled me.

Y Can't We Just Get Along?

(written for Alphabe-Thursday, the letter Y)

©2012 Susan Noyes Anderson

Why can't we just get along?

Can't our friendship still be strong

even when we disagree?

Why ya gotta wail on me?

Couldn't we just let things ride,

honor one another's side,

respect the liberty to choose

and tolerate each other's views?

Am I so wrong; are you so right?

Is every question black and white?

The "facts" aren't always what they seem;

most truth lies somewhere in between.

So here's a thought: Let's both stand tall

for our convictions, one and all.

To our own selves, let us be true.

(Romney, me; Obama, you.)

The die is cast; the deed is done.
You're super glad Obama won.

I'm super sad that Romney lost.
Must good relations be the cost?

Can't you lean left...Can't I lean right
without a friendship-ending fight?
The truth is, only time will tell
if our votes served this country well.

Both of us guessed the best we could.
Both of us thought our guess was good.
Now let's employ some common sense,
and let go of our arrogance.

The one thing sure to doom us all
is this: the mind too closed and small
to listen, learn, or compromise...
to see through someone else's eyes.

So let's be friends, friend. You and me.
It starts with us, and maybe we
can be the start of something grand
across our now-divided land.

We're still Americans. Speak up,
discussion fills our nation's cup.
But don't forget humility.
The future is no one's to see.

We all just guess the best we can.
There is no magic answer man.

for more Y posts, click below

Annuit Coeptis

Pardon me while I wax pedantic... ;)

Tess has given us an interesting prompt this week, and my response is an admittedly heavy-handed poem for which I apologize in advance. That said, one of the uses of a personal blog is venting, right? And I can't be the only blogger who is fed up with spending money like it grows on trees while pretending our massive national debt can be remedied by relatively painless measures. Who's kidding whom? This is not an easy fix.

I dislike owing money to other people. I dislike owing money to other countries, too, especially those who don't have my best interests at heart. Spending money we don't have and printing money we can't support is a game our nation can't win. That's why I'm looking for serious budget cuts in 2013––and representatives who aren't afraid to make them. I'm ready for politicians on both sides of the aisle (and the center, too) who are willing to take a stand for fiscal responsibility, even when it's not popular. 

Self-interest trumps our country's interests far too often in Washington. We need to see our elected representatives negotiating with more determination, letting go of partisanship in favor of loyal citizenship to accomplish the work they were elected to do. (Of course, we must hold up our end of things as well, by being willing to make our own sacrifices and concessions to the cause of fiduciary responsibility. After all, we the people are partisans, too, and should claim our half of the problem.) There's plenty of self-interest to go around. 

Annuit Coeptis

©2012 Susan Noyes Anderson

"God has favored our undertakings,"

states Annuit Coeptis.

But maybe He's fed up with our

fiduciary sepsis.

Money can empower us, or

money can destroy.

Greed masquerades as need. Misspent,

its lucre reaps no joy.

Once, Novus Ordo Seclorum 

declared our country's start.

Deep tenets grew this nation strong;

deep roots lie at her heart.

These roots have held us steady,
grounded us, set us apart.

Remember who our fathers were.

Remember what they wrought.

Cherish liberty, the prize

for which our fathers fought.

Know that freedom has a price,

and yet, cannot be bought.

"Liberty exists in proportion to wholesome restraint." 

Daniel Webster

"Shame on the men who can court exemption from present 

trouble and expense at the price of their own posterity's liberty." 

Samuel Adams

for more Magpies, click below

The Voice

I am having way more fun than TV usually offers watching Season 3 of The Voice this year. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, this musical reality show among shows features judges Adam Levine, Christina Aguilera, Blake Shelton, and Cee Lo Green. Crazy fun is the order of the day, largely because the interplay among these judges is entertaining as can be.

Top five things about the show:

1. The judges are actually talented themselves, rendering their advice and comments a lot more palatable.
2. The singers are invited to audition because they are already good. Result? No painful performances!
3. The judges have an opportunity to "push their buttons" for a singer, but they do not have the opportunity to see that person before doing so, as their backs are to the performers. This is truly a blind audition; talent is the whole enchilada.
4. Every judge who pushes that button (thereby turning his/her chair around) for a contestant must then vie with the others to mentor that candidate, and the choice is up to the singer, not the judges. I have laughed out loud many times at the shenanigans that go on as these sneaky judges jockey against one another to win a particularly desirable singer's favor.
5. After the judges' teams are filled (but not before plenty of hilarity, good chemistry, and teasing as each one tries to "get picked" as a coach), the judges set up battles where two of their team members are invited to a sing-off in front of the audience. Winners go to the live shows, while losers either go home or get "stolen" by another judge who thinks that singer is too good to let go.

There is some amazing talent this year. Most every genre imaginable is not only represented but represented well. So listen up, my friends. If you haven't seen this show, do yourself a favor next week and turn it on. In fact, why not just consider your Monday and Tuesday nights filled? Indefinitely.

I promise you will not regret it!

=)

PS. And Carson Daly as a host ain't too shabby, either.

for more V posts, click below

God Bless America (and let's help Him)

Remember Congress singing God Bless America on the steps of the Capitol?

Can you tell the Democrats from the Republicans? The Independents?

I just finished watching the video of Dave Letterman's first show after 9/11 and was reminded how that shared experience managed (for a time) to bring all of us together in ways that, sadly, only tragedies sufficient to threaten our very existence seem able to do. While I did find myself wishing we could somehow sustain that unity in the absence of heart-stopping terror and/or universal grief, there was comfort in viewing recorded proof that, in those moments when the very fabric of our nation is tested, Americans still possess the capacity and inclination to stand as one against anything or anyone who threatens us. At our very core, we are still the United States of America.

The challenge to us now, as citizens who value our way of life, is to realize that serious threats to our country are not limited to skyjacked airplanes, suicide missions, or terrorist bombs. Sometimes the worst threats contain no physical elements of danger at all but are internal, indigenous, insidious, and all too often, invisible. They include unprecedented disrespect for the founding principles of our nation, disaffection with the constitution and its tenets, disharmony among ourselves and our leaders. They encompass the paralysis that comes from politicians and legislators holding petty self interest above the welfare of this country, the disillusionment that accompanies too many broken promises, and the despair of feeling (even in the process of exercising our right to vote) that we are entirely powerless to change anything because elected representatives on either side cannot be trusted to act in our best interests or the nation's.

Not long ago, I wrote a post invoking the phrase "E Pluribus Unum" (out of many, one). Undoubtedly, some found my call for that level of unity quixotic at best, but I beg to differ. Although I don't deny being an optimist, even an idealist at times, I am also a realist in my way. For me, the notion of being united as Americans does not conjure visions of walking in lockstep or even sharing the same opinions and/or beliefs. Quite the contrary. We do not have to agree with one another to be united; and in fact, the United States of America is all about the dynamism of not agreeing...being free to speak our minds, be heard, and negotiate a path forward that gives each of us enough of what we want while keeping our country afloat. The unity part is staying in the same boat (even though we have different rowing patterns), refusing to capsize it, and choosing to negotiate a rhythm that accommodates all of us because we are headed for the same destination and are willing to make personal sacrifices to get there. An overwhelming majority of Americans love this country dearly and want to preserve it. Therein lies the universal goal or destination, and sharing it makes us one in purpose. We are all in the same boat, united, and united people make necessary adjustments so they can row (accomplish their common purpose) together. 

We did this after 9/11 and we can do it now, with our eyes wide open and firmly fixed on the prize. It is not impossible, not a pipe dream, not pie in the sky. It requires brotherhood, humility, and self-mastery. It demands a spirit of compromise and mutual respect. It hears every side with an open mind and a stronger desire to do right than to be right. It speaks the language of tolerance, discernment, and discretion. It begins with every individual. 

I'm 60 years old, a baby boomer who has never felt as uneasy about our country as I do today. There is a lurking menace out there, a clear and present danger, and it is us. Which is exactly why we are in a position do something about it.

These firemen, Americans all, rose to the occasion.

So can we.

One or We're Done: E Pluribus Unum

I think we are all familiar, as Americans, with the phrase "E pluribus unum," meaning "out of many, one." In this election season, I am sorry to witness the extent to which we are not, in fact, one...a reality which both saddens and concerns me. 

Why has it become nigh on impossible for pols, pundits, and people in general to politically or even culturally disagree with a fellow citizen without denigrating his or her character? What happened to the respect we owe each other as free men and free women who share a love for this nation? (In fact, what happened to the respect we owe each other, period?) Must we demonize one another to make our points? Can we not all agree that every one of us has the inalienable right to put forth his or her own opinions without being branded evil or declared a lunatic? Do we really have to make sweeping generalizations about entire groups of people based upon the foibles of a handful? Are we doomed to stew in our own, stagnating juices for the simple reason that we refuse to reach out and create a blend that would be (reasonably) palatable to all?

We are the proverbial great American melting pot, and as such, our citizens differ in more ways than we can count. Because of these differences, not one of us is going to get everything he or she wants. But we can all get some of what we want, provided we are willing to respect one another enough to discuss, negotiate, and legislate honorably. Perhaps we can even manage to campaign honorably, which would be a welcome relief to most of us right about now. It's time to address issues, issues, and only issues! Why? Because vitriolic diatribes, self-serving slanders, and outright character assassinations obscure one all-important American truth: that variety is indeed the spice of life (AND our American melting pot).

I believe a lot of negotiating was done in regard to the new World Trade Center (now under construction), and I'm certain many diametrically opposed views of what should stand in that sacred spot were advanced. In the end, a decision was made which encompassed as many points of view as possible. The result, I think you will agree, is quite remarkable...and I have to believe that even those who supported other plans must be pleased with the spirit, at least, of this effort. I hope you will enjoy these photographs chronicling its construction to date. I also hope, as you scroll through them, that you will reflect with me upon these words: "United we stand; divided we fall," remembering that unity begins with mutual respect––and a sincere belief that every point of view matters.

Artist's rendering of the new World Trade Center*

 This is what the new World Trade Center will look like when completed.

Pretty awe-inspiring, right? 

 I guess something about it just speaks to my heart.

 And it speaks to my sense of patriotism, too.

 There's something so "never, never, never give up" about this building.

 It says a lot about us as a nation.

 And it means a lot to us as a nation, too.

 It means we are not afraid to stand tall for what we believe,

 regardless of the obvious risk involved.

 It means we know how to keep our eyes and hearts on the big picture,

 even when the fruits of terror and adversity lie at our feet.

It means we still know how to fight in ways that are not destructive,

 to rise above the troubles others may see fit to inflict upon us

and prove who we really are, first and last. Americans.

United We Stand. Divided, We Fall.

Let's move forward.
{together}

*All renderings are © Port Authority and the Durst Organization

for more O posts, click below

Marriage Musings

This summer has been filled with weddings for us. Come December, my hubby and I will have been married 40 years. In general, people are prone to exclaim in surprise over that number, which seems a rather sad commentary on the state of wedded bliss (or lack thereof) in our society. Where hitting the four-decade mark used to be commonplace, long-term relationships are almost an oddity now.

I don't pretend to be an expert on any marriage but mine, yet I often get asked the question, "How have you lasted so long? What's the secret?" For some reason, I always feel obligated to reply, especially to those dewy-eyed young brides who are just embarking on their own lives as wives and eventual mothers. I find myself wishing that I had some sure-fire formula for success as a spouse, but the only thing I've ever really come up with is something every would-be bride ought to do before the ring ever hits her finger: Choose the right guy!

That almost sounds like a punchline, but I mean it most sincerely. The following list is a series of things that I considered essential in finding my marriage partner, and if any one had been missing, it would have been a deal breaker.

1. Is he a good, solid person with sound morals?
2. Do you share basic beliefs about the world and have similar goals?
3. Does he have a history of commitment and dependability?
4. Is his family close? Is every member important to him?
5. Does he have a good work ethic, not just career-wise but in general?
6. Does he make your stomach flutter and your knees go weak?
7. Is there balance? Does he love and need you as much as you love and need him?
8. Can you trust him with every part of yourself?
9. Is he the person you enjoy being with more than any other?
10. Do you love talking to him? Laughing with him?
11. Does he respect and support you as an individual?
12. Is your happiness at least as important to him as his own?

These 12 considerations are not listed in order of importance because to me, every single one of them was and is important. Spending an entire lifetime together is a big deal...and far less likely to happen if any of these components is missing.

My concern is that a lot of couples jump into marriage too quickly these days, based upon attraction that hasn't passed the test of time and encouraged by the ease and frequency of divorce. These brides and grooms make vows without real intent, figuring that if things don't work out they will just move on. Sadly, moving on disqualifies them from the inestimable treasures of an enduring marriage: shared history and hard-won emotional intimacy. Those who stick together through thick and thin, riding the waves of joy and sorrow and even occasional apathy with resolve and commitment, create a bond of mature love and mutual understanding that feels as sacred and secure as any sanctuary.

Marriage CAN BE a sanctuary in this life...but it must be carefully built, year upon year, by those who inhabit it. The trick, of course, is choosing someone you want to inhabit it with!

A happy wedded state

requires the proper mate.

Choose well and seal your fate.

for more M posts, click below

For Princesses Only, Please!

Saturday Centus is here again, and Jenny has decided to follow up last week's cropped photo prompt with the complete picture. In the first version, I interpreted the bottom half of the photo as a little girl playing dress-up and had some fun with it. But looking at the complete photo this week brought something else to the surface for me. 

∞§∞

Kindergarten is now in her past,

and this graduate’s having a blast.

But those heels mar my bliss.

It seems this little miss

may be trying to grow up too fast!

Some will think my concern overdone.

After all, she’s just having some fun.

But real shoes or pretend,

dressing older’s a trend.

Tots aren’t teens. Are we jumping the gun?

∞§∞

Am I just being old-fashioned here?

In my day, every girl worth her salt tried on Mom's shoes. 

But we didn't wear them to graduation.

Nor could we purchase mini versions of our own.

You see, the shoe stores didn't make them in our size.

Only toy stores did...for princesses only, of course.

(And even then, it was just a kitten heel.)

The Magic of Coconut Oil

A couple of years ago, I wrote about the joys and benefits of cooking with coconut oil. Today I want to take my enthusiasm for coconut oil a step further and confess that this wonderful substance has also become my favorite face and body lotion. It moisturizes and conditions like a charm, leaving my skin a little less like crepe paper every day. Sure, it's a bit like getting oiled up for the spit at first (greased pig, anyone?), but ere long the slippery residue absorbs and you are sitting pretty. Honestly, I am loving the difference––and I love the price, too (relatively inexpensive, and it goes a long way).

Yesterday, I even used the stuff as a hair treatment. Yep, I just rubbed it through my hair until it hung in oily snakes glistened around my face, then popped on a shower cap and let it marinate for a couple of hours. What I like about this hair salad is that it actually takes away the dryness while leaving your locks with some body. In fact, it adds to the body...and I kinda need that, these days.

So there you are, friends. My very best beauty secret is yours to keep. Can't promise you that it will work miracles, but it does work like a charm!

;)

PS. This is also a great massage oil, with antibiotic and anti-fungal properties. And as I've said before, the extra virgin, cold-pressed, organic brand (Nutiva) is even great to cook with because coconut oil includes high amounts of lauric acid, which is good for cholesterol and aids in weight loss. Some people even swear by it to prevent tooth decay. (The Mia Flora brand is not for ingestion, though.)

Dissing My Religion

I rarely get political here, and that's not my intention today either. I suspect my readership is about evenly comprised of liberals and conservatives, Republicans and Democrats...with a mix of Independents and Libertarians thrown in for good measure. And I like it that way.

For the record, my views no longer fit neatly into any one party platform. Liberal and conservative, depending upon the issue, I now choose candidates based on character and integrity as much or more than party affiliations or positions. I also respect every person's right to support whatever candidate(s) he or she feels inclined to support, and I have no problem agreeing to disagree on issues and policies. I enjoy and appreciate the give and take of respectful political discussion.

Sadly, respectful political discussion is increasingly hard to come by, and personal attacks have become part and parcel of every race. Recent words from Lawrence O'Donnell of MSNBC have left me fuming, because in an attempt to discredit Mitt Romney, this unscrupulous commentator has launched an attack on my religion. The hostile tone of O'Donnell's remarks, along with their departure from anything even approaching the truth, disturbs and offends me on every level. Even more disturbing and offensive is the complete lack of response from MSNBC, a news organization that should hold Mr. O'Donnell (and itself) responsible for dispensing vitriol and failing to vet material.

How is it that Lawrence O'Donnell has called the LDS faith, practiced by 14 million people worldwide and 5 1/2 million citizens of this country, "demented, fraudulent, and ridiculous" without repercussions to his career? And where is the justification for his latest spew on MSNBC, excerpted as follows:

"Mormonism was created by a guy in upstate New York in 1830 when he got caught having sex with the maid and explained to his wife that God told him to do it..." (It gets worse, but I don't want to give his verbal garbage additional play on my blog.)

Surely there can be no excuse for this kind of disrespect in the public arena. Not only is it patently untrue, but it's completely inappropriate in every way imaginable. I am dumbfounded that any of this nonsense would make it past the cutting room floor, and I am troubled by what I sincerely hope will not become a trend.

We, the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, deserve better. And so does our national discourse.

Respect for the Flag

I don't like it. And I wouldn't like it with Romney either.

Or George Washington, for that matter.

Red state or blue state, this is our flag.

The Stars and Stripes forever.

And we need to honor it.

Republican or Democrat,

Libertarian or Independent...

This is a star spangled banner.

Not a billboard.

I hope that Nancy Hilbert and her Lake County associates will choose not to fly this flag again, not just because it is against the law, but because they realize it would not be appropriate. And I have to believe that President Obama would agree.

federal flag code, public law 344, section 4G; “The flag should never have placed upon it or any part of it, any marks, insignia, letters, words, figures, designs, picture or drawings of any nature.

for more R posts, click below

Welcome to my Book Binge

(Or at least, I do!)

I've been enjoying some very good reads lately and am happy to spread the news about three authors who were entirely new to me last month but are well on the way to becoming old friends. If you aren't already aware of their talents, I hope you will consider looking into them. Perhaps you will even embrace them as I have.

The first is Marcia Willett, whose books come as close to Rosamunde Pilcher's as any I've run across. Set in the English countryside and peopled with charming, quirky, and mostly endearing characters are "A Week in Winter," "The Way We Were," and "A Summer in the Country." The next Willett novel I intend to swallow in one gulp (just can't seem to put them down) is "The Children's Hour." Needless to say, I'm ready to dive right in!

Simply beautiful is Kent Haruf's novel, "Plainsong." This author's writing, lean and intense as Hemingway but far more graceful on the mind, imbues commonplace events with a soft luster that pulled me in gently yet held me fast, unable (or unwilling) to look away. Haruf places his readers in deep water, but the waves roll in slowly and shimmer. I will be reading the sequel, "Eventide," as soon as time allows.

Sandra Dallas rounds out my group of three, and I thoroughly enjoyed "The Diary of Mattie Spenser," "The Persian Pickle Club," "Tallgrass," and "Alice's Tulips." I'll be sure to visit her other work too, as I love nothing better than a good book about women and the ties that bind them...to each other and to their families. I think you will find that Ms. Dallas fills that bill with style, sensitivity, a touch of mystery, and a sense of history.

What could be better?

=)

Click above to vote for one of my favorite people:

Caroline of Salsa Pie. (It's easy...no signing up!)

A Word to the Wise

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool

than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

– Abraham Lincoln

If Mr. Lincoln were alive today, I suspect this would be

his advice to the current presidential candidates.

Enough said.

"/