Saturday, October 15, 2011

Past Imperfect


It's Saturday Centus, and my good friend Jenny has thrown us a whole new curve. This week's prompt takes the form of a picture, and we must focus on the use of sensory details to bring its 100-word story to life. Quite a challenge!

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Past Imperfect
©2011 Susan Noyes Anderson

The vine was long gone, another victim of time and neglect, but honeyed scent engulfed him just the same...creeping wisteria...the sweet, seductive kind that leaves a subtle hint of pepper on your tongue. A warning.

How could a child have known? He had. Snakelike, those stealthy tendrils trailed along the rough, red bricks...reared up and wrapped their purple petals round the house. He'd always felt trapped there.

A crow shrieked and the old man lurched away; his shadow must not cross that porch. Nonsense! The trap was sprung. Grandma was there no more.

But memory had tendrils of her own.

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28 comments:

  1. UnknownOctober 15, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    Love that last line!

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  2. KobyOctober 15, 2011 at 10:44 AM

    Yikes... I'm creeped out (great job!)

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  3. VikiOctober 15, 2011 at 11:02 AM

    So vividly written. I wish I knew what the story was behind this, ha.

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  4. karenOctober 15, 2011 at 11:05 AM

    You really pulled me into this one. What is the rest of the story? (I feel like a kid begging to finish the bedtime story.)

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  5. Brian MillerOctober 15, 2011 at 11:34 AM

    oh wow you brought a whole story out of that pic and in just 100 words...the trap already sprung...yikes....

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  6. RobinfromCAOctober 15, 2011 at 11:58 AM

    Now I'm afraid of Grandma too - whoever she was!

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  7. EG CameraGirlOctober 15, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    Concise and entertaining too!

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  8. 21 WitsOctober 15, 2011 at 2:32 PM

    Amazing sense of eeriness, you led me through the tangled web of your descriptive words....and now I hope for more deep answers to unfold! Thanks!

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  9. ConnieOctober 15, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    Such description! I'll be thinking about this snippet the rest of the day.

    (I never did like tendrils)

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  10. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comOctober 15, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    This is really powerful and layered with meaning, Sue. I love the sensory details too.
    xoRobyn

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  11. maryelizabethrocheOctober 15, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    Loved this!!

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  12. Grandma HoneyOctober 15, 2011 at 5:09 PM

    This time I just really looked at the picture for awhile and tried to think of what Sue would come up with. You surprise me every time!

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  13. yayaOctober 15, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    I looked at the pic and thought...what a crummy house..you looked at it and found so much to say, entertain, and spell bind us! Thanks!

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  14. anitamombanitaOctober 15, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    Love it! Colorful!!

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  15. BookieOctober 16, 2011 at 7:36 AM

    SUPER! Your reader FEELS those confining ropes of vine...of memories!

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  16. AmesOctober 16, 2011 at 8:18 AM

    I have my memories too. The house is gone but the foundation and slab is still there. Sometimes I go and sit on it and remember.~Ames

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  17. UnknownOctober 16, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    This was really scary. You made me jump.

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  18. Dazee DreamerOctober 16, 2011 at 7:00 PM

    I loved this. and kind of want to take a swing at the grandma.

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  19. UnknownOctober 16, 2011 at 7:19 PM

    That house certainly has a tale to tell!

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  20. LeAnnOctober 16, 2011 at 8:20 PM

    All I can say is that you are amazing and have a way with words. You are so talented; and I love reading whatever you write.
    Blessings to you and I loved the short story.

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  21. AmyOctober 16, 2011 at 8:46 PM

    Oooh, I like this! Was it supposed to be a little creepy? And yet romantic at the same time. Brilliant!

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  22. People Who Know Me Would Say:October 17, 2011 at 2:27 AM

    If I could write like this, it's all I would do. You paint such tangible pictures with your words. Amazing.

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  23. CherylOctober 17, 2011 at 4:18 AM

    Sweet write!

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  24. CarolineOctober 17, 2011 at 4:45 AM

    I agree with Karen--you really pulled me into this one too-- and--I love your choice of descriptive words--" stealthy tendrils"...

    SUPER cool, Sue. Excellent job!

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  25. CarolineOctober 17, 2011 at 4:46 AM

    p.s. I am amazed how you can pull ALL of that from the picture! What a descriptive imagination you have! You are an amazing, writer Sue.

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  26. Rek SeshOctober 17, 2011 at 10:34 AM

    This is really great writing. The creepy feeling gets to you and the last line packed a punch.

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  27. alpinekleinsOctober 18, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    OooOoo - you must go on . . .

    :D

    Kristin

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  28. JennyOctober 28, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    Geez, Sue.

    Geez.

    Wow.

    You really pulled me into this one...it was total genius.

    Geez.

    (PS. I'm only using the word Geez because I figure you're sick of reading the word 'Wow' from me!)

    Geez.

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