Saturday, September 3, 2011

Pardon my Pizza (and My French)


It's Saturday Centus and Labor Day weekend, all rolled into one! As you can see, Jenny's got us off on some kind of oddball food-prompt tangent, and I can't seem to resist going along for the ride. Misery loves company, so I hope you join us! My own hundred words are below, with the prompt, as always, in red. (Twice, as it were.)

∞§∞

Pardon my Pizza (and My French)


She gave it to him with a kiss,
in hopes that the truth he would miss.
But when he saw the tofu,
he yelled, “No, NO, NO, Sue!
What kind of a pizza is this?”

“What kind of a pizza is this?
It’s the kind that will bring you true bliss.
With no meat, there’s no fat;
it’s more healthy like that.
So eat up, or me-off you will piss!

(Yes, I know that’s a vulgar last line,
but it suited my meaning so fine
that I had to enlist it.
I couldn't resist it!
So pardon my French, just this time.)

∞§∞

Disclaimer: Even though my name is used in this long limerick, it is not a true story. Cooking with tofu is not my forte. Having said that, it's true that my husband would "up his nose turn" at a tofu pizza! ;)
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33 comments:

  1. Karen MortensenSeptember 3, 2011 at 8:18 AM

    I love it Sue. However, I am with the guy on this one. There are just thing one shouldn't mess with.

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  2. LynnSeptember 3, 2011 at 8:24 AM

    Sounds like someone's going to be wearing pizza soon:@)

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  3. AmesSeptember 3, 2011 at 8:43 AM

    Very good Sue! Although tofu ranks right up there with head cheese....it's just down right gross :) ~Ames

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  4. UnknownSeptember 3, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    What a great group of limericks! Awesome.

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  5. 21 WitsSeptember 3, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    Well the music rocks, and love the poem, yeah that one word does bring other visions to mind, but I just love how we all come up with so many different ways of Jenny's prompts....such excellent brains at work...with or without really tasting any pizza!

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  6. cj SchlottmanSeptember 3, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    Love this clever limerick! Sadly, I am one of those who actually eat tofu on pizza!

    Namate..........cj

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  7. BookieSeptember 3, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    I don't think I would like tofu pizza, but did love your pizza right..."pithy" ending and all!

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  8. Brian MillerSeptember 3, 2011 at 11:33 AM

    haha...but sorry i am on the side of the carnivores...smiles.

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  9. karenSeptember 3, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    I'm with you on the tofu - it squeaks on your teeth when you eat it. But it IS healthy so I'm not totally dissing it (as opposed to pi***** it) Have a great weekend. As for me, I have a new grandbaby being pushed to the light as we speak! Exciting weekend.

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  10. Bethe77September 3, 2011 at 11:47 AM

    Nicely done!
    Blessings

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  11. ElizabethSeptember 3, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    This made me laugh out loud, thanks Sue, you're a delight:)

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  12. BECKYSeptember 3, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    Sue, you are hilarious! And SO talented!! Loved it!

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  13. JudieSeptember 3, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    Doesn't tofu take on the flavor of the other toppings? So just how bad can it be? Sue, you already know how I feel about your wonderful poetry. This piece did not disappoint, for sure!! Brava!

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  14. Grandma Yellow HairSeptember 3, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    Well my sweet friend Sue I have to say you have made my day using the word Piss in your post today. hahahahaha
    I love this and you
    Maggie

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  15. anitamombanitaSeptember 3, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    ick..me too...if you're going to eat pizza, eat the real thing. if you're going to eat ice cream make it full fat. etc etc etc... me you did not off piss, but maybe that's because I'm a horse's a__... LOL... I labored to find another word that would work on this labor day weekend...seems like we were of somewhat like minds! LOL. Hope you have a great weekend and enjoy some real pizza with Dave!! Love ya.

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  16. Grandma HoneySeptember 3, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    I don't mind tofu, but not on my pizza!

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  17. Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis HallSeptember 3, 2011 at 4:26 PM

    lovely rhyming,

    enjoyed the power of your words.
    superb entry.

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  18. DarleneSeptember 3, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    What a good one. It was so funny, I almost woke Dick up when I laughed. To tell you the truth, if you served me pizza with tofu, I would definitely be pissed off too!

    Although, now that I think of it, the restuarant where we used to get Japanese food cooked right at our table served tofu, along with lots of other things that made up that yummy Sukiaki that I have never been able to find anymore. I used to think it was pretty okay in that.

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  19. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comSeptember 3, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    LOL. I love "me-off you will piss"! I think it works perfectly. This was loads of fun especially with the music. I always enjoy my visits to Sue's News.
    xoRobyn

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  20. To the Toy Box and BeyondSeptember 3, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    I don't think I would be eating a tofu pizza anything soon Good job

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  21. ConnieSeptember 3, 2011 at 10:29 PM

    Hilarious! Tofu pizza! Yuck!

    You have such a gift. I know I've told you that before but it's true.

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  22. JennySeptember 4, 2011 at 9:49 AM

    Tofu pizza. Ummm... yummm...not!

    This was cute! We kind of went in the same direction!

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  23. AmySeptember 4, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    Heehee! I love it. So funny. Though I do love tofu, this just had me giggling.

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  24. Alan MacfarlaneSeptember 4, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    me-off you will make laugh

    wow. you are much better at this than I. I am all too familiar with a husband turning up his nose at a healthy alternative!

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  25. Dazee DreamerSeptember 4, 2011 at 7:29 PM

    hahaha. you always do so well at these. And I love how yourmusic selection always goes right along with your writing.

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  26. Simple HomeSeptember 4, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    My husband is a vegetarian, but still wouldn't be too interested in tofu pizza :) Cute limerick.
    Blessings,
    Marcia

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  27. LeAnnSeptember 4, 2011 at 9:44 PM

    LOL on this one! Sue I love your poetry.
    Blessings to you and keep on enjoying the moments and I know you do.

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  28. People Who Know Me Would Say:September 5, 2011 at 2:52 AM

    "Or me off you will piss" - soooooooooooooooooooooo
    funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny!

    I'm still laughing!!!!!

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  29. JoSeptember 5, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    this was so well written, loved it all Sue ... and tofu with pizza, grounds for divorce!!!!

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  30. Bargain Decorating with LaurieSeptember 5, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    You put a smile on my face! Great job! laurie

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  31. TinaSeptember 6, 2011 at 6:55 AM

    no no no sue ryming genius haha ... and don't worry about the last line it was fun!! :-)

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  32. TgoetteSeptember 6, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    Excellent job, Sue! You always swing for the fences with these wonderful poems of yours! What a clever use of the prompt!

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  33. TonyaSeptember 9, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    Tofu - YUCK!!! Sorry, my SIL used to cook with it when I was her nanny and I just... well, YUCK!!!

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