On "Trying to be Like Jesus"

Have you ever had a thorn in your flesh that you're not handling very well? If so, then you know where I am right now. My thorn is of a physical nature, but lately I have allowed it to move into the spiritual realm. In other words, I've been letting it affect my level of spirituality, which is probably not a real good idea for someone who wants to be healed.

At times like these, conference is always a godsend. President Eyring reminded me this morning of the importance of going back to the basics and becoming as a little child:

I'm trying to be like Jesus, I'm following in His ways.

I'm trying to love as He did in all that I do and say.

At times I'm tempted to make a wrong choice,

but I try to listen as the still, small voice whispers:

Love one another as Jesus loves you.

Try to show kindness in all that you do.

Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,

for these are the things Jesus taught.

I'm trying to love my neighbor;

I'm learning to serve my friends.

I watch for the day of gladness

when Jesus will come again.

I try to remember the lessons He taught.

Then the Holy Spirit enters into my thoughts, saying:

Love one another as Jesus loves you.

Try to show kindness in all that you do.

Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,

for these are the things Jesus taught.

-Janis Kapp Perry

Emulating the Savior is exactly what I need to be doing, especially when I'm not where I want to be with my physical health. Every time I become too preoccupied with me to draw near to Him, loss of spiritual health ensues...and then I'm really in trouble. The last thing I need is a thorn in my soul, too. Yet I seem to be working on one...

More self awareness came my way at the close of the first session, when President Monson helped me remember to ask myself the question, "Have I done any good in the world today?" You know what? The answer in recent weeks has been "not much." Quite frankly, I am allowing my physical thorn in the flesh to distract or even excuse me from focusing on the needs and feelings of others. It's like I've been taking a month-long hiatus for a private pity party––one that I can ill afford. How have I managed to forget once again that when the chips are down, helping others feel better always makes me feel better, too? Let's face it, accessing the powers of heaven has a lot to do with being spiritually-minded enough to open yourself to them. And being spiritually-minded and open to blessings has everything to do with trying to be like Jesus, something I've been neglecting in favor of ministering to my ailing self. Don't get me wrong, self care is important when you're trying to get well, but being able to care about people and things outside yourself is important, too.

Here's the stumper. How many times does one person (translation: me) have to learn the same lessons in life? (Enter the mighty change of heart talk by Elder Dale A. Renlund, Sunday afternoon session, in which he pointed out that our [new] mightily changed hearts need constant care and vigilance to eliminate the danger of "rejection.") I guess my heart has some hardening of the arteries going on if I can't avoid going through the same old cycle again and again. Seriously. I know this drill! I've had physical challenges aplenty, and the way out is always the same...letting go of my need to control and complain and consciously choosing to trust in the Lord, who invariably turns the thorn...or entire prickly bush...to my good. It truly doesn't make much lasting difference when or if the physical healing occurs at all, because it's the spiritual healing that matters. Paul said it very well in Philippians 4:11-13: Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (And I can, but not if I forget to be His disciple.)

In following Elder Eyring's advice and trying to be like Jesus, I will be able to handle adversity more like He did. I will call upon Him more frequently, ensuring that He is walking with me and that I am remembering to actively use His atonement to overcome the world and its struggles. I will be reminded that trying to love as He did means reaching out to others and finding the kind of joy that has nothing to do with the flesh at all, let alone thorns in it.

I should mention that my physical problem is far more annoying than threatening, and the details are a trifle too delicate to discuss here. But I did want to discuss the lessons it is teaching me, and the absolute relevance of general conference in putting me back on track on a bi-yearly basis.

Conference is indeed a many-splendored thing!